8 Weeks Later

It is hard to believe it has been eight weeks since my last treatment.  In my mind it is fresh as if it just happened, but my energy tells me otherwise.  I've been back to work for almost 7 weeks now and it has felt very difficult most of the time.  I realized that I had been putting all I had into fighting this disease and getting through treatment and then coming back to work I had to put all I had into getting back on top of my business.  This left me exhausted and wishing for my bed by 7:00 pm.  It has just been the last 10 days or so that I've felt like it is all getting easier.  This week I've worked all day and then still had the energy to make dinner and then banana bread with my kids.  Yesterday I shopped some after work and then came home to make a birthday cake for my mother-in-law and I could do it.  If you've ever been through chemo and radiation you know how refreshing it is to have the energy to do simple things that once came easily. My hope now is that I can build some strength back in my legs as they still hurt or tire easily with activity.  I'm not up for riding my bike or doing squats quite yet, but I may begin walking around the neighborhood.

I am still waiting to have a scan scheduled.  Oddly, I'm not nervous or uneasy about the results, but I am beginning to dread going back to the radiation office and drinking that awful Pet-Scan stuff.  I should get an appointment mid-June and then I'll follow up with a Dr appointment to get the results.  The great news is that my appointments in Oklahoma City went very well.  Both doctors believe I am healing as well as possible and there are no signs of complications at this point. They both agreed that they would have deemed my exams completely normal , so there was no evidence of this enhanced ridge that has been evident before.  This was wonderful news to Billy and I, as you can imagine.  Perhaps this is why I feel at peace while waiting for the scan, but I believe God grants us peace in any circumstance if our eyes are fixed on Him.  (Isaiah 26:3)  My prayer is that my mind would stay focused on Him and that I would allow Him to lead me as I move forward.  There are decisions to make around medications, follow-up appointments and finances that you could pray for as well. 

Thank you for checking in.  I so appreciate all of you.

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you,all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

One Month Later

One month ago today I finished my treatment plan.  I'm sorry if it seems I finished and then just stopped communicating.  I've wanted to share how things are going, but every time I begin to write the words just aren't there.  Physically I am healing more every day.  My legs were so weak for the first couple of weeks I could hardly make myself get out of bed and leave my bedroom.  My mind was fuzzy and overall I didn't feel good.  Now I feel more like myself every day and am able to go through a fairly normal daily routine.  I think this is partly what feels difficult.  It feels so odd to have my life, and many other's lives, revolve around doctor's appointments, treatments, hospital visits and then suddenly it is just over.  The physical hurdle is behind me, but there seems to be an emotional hurdle that I have to deal with. 

I feel so much gratitude to my Savior as He held me close for 5 1/2 months and gave me the strength and peace I've been able to carry most of the time.  I'm grateful to my husband who has held our life together and provided as much normal as possible for our children.  I'm grateful to so many who have given us the gift of prayer along the way; and to those of you who have helped with practical things like meals, gas cards, cash, child-care, housekeeping, groceries and paper goods.  I know without a doubt this process was much easier because you were willing to sacrifice and help us get through it. So when I start to feel frustrated, impatient or discouraged I've realized it is because there is  no closure.  Perhaps this is an odd way to feel after going through so much and being on this side feeling pretty good, but I've realized I'm just waiting to hear "You are cancer free!" These words will help bring closure to all of this in a way that allows me to celebrate and get over this mental hurdle!

I go back to Oklahoma City this Wednesday to meet with my Rad-Onc and Gyn-Onc there.  They previously told me that I would need to wait at least two months for the inflammation in my body to go away.  If there is inflammation the scan could show a false positive for cancer.  I know that my body isn't healed yet because of many little symptoms I deal with each day, but hopefully they'll give me a better idea of how things are going this week.  I'll update more after this appointment, but in the mean time wanted to let you know I'm doing better every day and greatly appreciate all your notes and cards asking about us.

It's Because of You!

A high school friend gave me this adorable purple book with the encryption "Believe" on the front cover.  This is a book of inspirational quotes and one many are familiar with by Mother Teresa.

"I know God won't give me anything I can't handle.  I just wish He didn't trust me so much."

There's another quote by Bruce Barton.

"Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared  believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance."

Going into my treatment last week I knew that my mind would be tested.  I would lie alone in a room, while in pain and discomfort, and battle many emotions, thoughts, ideas. I know the verse in 1 Cor 10:13 that says God will give me what I need to endure anything that tempts me.  In this case God would need to give me control of my mind so that Satan could not make it his playground. 

I don't know if you've ever been alone with your thoughts during a difficult time and realized how Satan can play with our minds to infiltrate doubt, worry, fear, discontentment, self pity, etc.  Usually when this has happened to me I've been able to get up and go play with the kids, work on a project, piddle in my garden.....anything to get my mind busy on something else.  This was not the circumstance where I could run away.  I had to depend on the foundation of my faith  and the belief that this faith was superior to my circumstance.  It was a circumstance that God did not save me from; He allowed me to face it for whatever reason.

Right before my treatment began, at about 2 pm a week ago Tuesday my husband and sister, Amy, kissed and hugged me good-bye.  As I watched them walk away I thought I might not be able to breath.  They were both so upset and I knew it was harder on them than I.  They had to walk away and go on with normal life as they pictured me there.  I put on my brave face as the doctor explained how she was activating my internal radiation.  My husband drove to his parents house to care for our children.  Amy made the 3 1/2 hour trek home where she posted on my blog the details of Day 1 and put out a prayer challenge.

As I checked my phone I didn't realize this prayer challenge was in place, but I continued to get e-mails from people committed to pray for me and sending encouraging words my way.  All through the first night I read over these verses, words, commitments.  At 4:00 am my mom texted, saying "we're up, if you want to call".  I called right away and mom told me about the prayer challenge on my blog.  I watched your words roll in over the next two days via my blog comments and facebook and I know that my faith was strengthened to endure the 47 hours of treatment.  My spirits were lifted so I could smile and visit with the nurses and doctors that stopped in occasionally.  My hope was restored and renewed as I kept my mind focused on our Savior and His work through you.  It's because of you and your prayers that this treatment was easier than I expected.  If I could repay you I would, but for now all I have is a very humble and heartfelt...thank you!

Regaining Strength

We just want to keep you all up to speed on how Kristi is doing. She is regaining strength. She has improved as far as walking a bit by herself and her temperature is back to normal. She is having discomfort with sitting and certain movements, has waves of nausea, and she's dealing with heat flashes. She is not shaky like yesterday though. She feels better knowing that there isn't any immediate concern for her health. She just needs to continue to heal and we pray she get's better each and every day.

Thanks for all the love, support, and prayer.
~Katy (sister)

Update on Prayer Requst

Update -- Sunday 1:00am

As of now we do know that her hemoglobin is up to a 9

Urine culture and blood culture will come back in two days to show if there is an infection in the blood or bladder but no UTI's or other infections that would be indicated in these two tests. 

There seem to be no visual signs of fistulas (holes between rectal and vaginal walls) or abscesses.

Her white blood cell count has improved well enough that they don't believe they need to keep her there for monitoring while she fights off an infection.

Her Temperature is at a 99.9 so it's not increasing

They are waiting to do chest x-rays (my assumption is that they are looking for pneumonia)

After the chest x-ray she will be allowed to go home to rest. 

Thank you for praying and continuing to pray for her. Please continue praying that there is no infection from the internal radiation. I can't say that I feel confident they've ruled that out. Obviously her body is fighting off something to have a temperature and she continues to feel very weak - which could still be from low hemoglobin numbers.  We are all grateful that as the local doctor put it - there are no visual signs of the more serious things. However these doctors are not at all familiar with Kristi's most recent treatment of interstitial Brachy radiation so that leaves us with some discomfort but continuing to walk by faith and trust God in All things at All times. 

Thanks again for your prayers and we will continue to keep you posted,  

In the Grip of His Grace and Mercy,  Amy

PRAYER REQUEST

Saturday Night:  8:00 p.m.

Kristi has been in a lot of pain today and is running a high fever.  Her Dr. in Oklahoma City has told them to go to the local ER and that they may have to return to OKC.  Please pray for them as this is causing great anxiety and the travel is not easy on Kristi.  Pray against infection due to her internal radiation treatment.  Pray for a calm spirit for Billy as he cares for her amidst his own anxiety.  My brother Joshua is with them.  We will keep you posted.

Thanks again,  Danina

A day to celebrate.....

Worship the Lord with Gladness, 

come before Him with JOYful songs

Know that the Lord is God, 

it is He who made us and we are His...

Enter His gates with Thanksgiving and His courts with Praise

Give Thanks to Him and Praise His Name,

For the Lord is Good and His Love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations

Psalms 100:2-5

Today we celebrate that the treatment is over (they removed the needles and radiation yesterday at 1:00) and currently she is waiting on a wheelchair (for an hour now!!) to carry her out of the hospital and head for home!  One thing Kristi said early on is that this cancer would not steal her JOY!  This is one thing that was noted by many of the professionals who worked with her a long the way as well as many of us who know and love her. Today is definitely a day of Joyful celebration. She is on the homeward stretch.  

Below are some pictures I thought you might enjoy!

She texted this picture to her family stating "No more Jello for me! I'm first class now with full menu room service"

This looks much tastier than jello, popcicles, and chicken or beef broth!

This morning before checking out they had to remove her pic line and make sure her blood was able to clot and then she was able to shower, a welcome sight after days of laying in that bed I'm sure, and then head for home.  They did take more blood tests and her hemoglobin is still low - at a 7.8 and they look at blood transfusions when hits in the 6's. So this is still an area for prayer. It is not low due to blood loss so they believe it is just due to a major shock to her body and therefore the red blood cells were not keeping up as they should. She should notice within 10-14 days that they have rebuilt themselves back up but if not she'll have to have her blood levels taken again.

She will have a follow up with both of her doctors in about a month to make sure she is healing okay and then in two months they will do another PET scan to compare it to the first and make sure all cancer is gone. 

This morning Danina texted her
Hebrews 10:23
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for He who promised is Faithful

In which she responded: Thank you for sure. We are thankful for the huge amount of support given to Billy, the Kids and I and such amazing nurses and doctors that made this as easy as possible. 

Kristi's doctors were amazing and very compassionate. One of them rubbed her legs down when they were itching so badly from the allergic reaction to the narcotics and the other came in and rolled her on her side for a few minutes when her bum was going numb from laying on it all the time. Not things Doctors have to do but certainly just examples of how they showed compassion towards her.

In Kristi's words... she says sometimes she wants to say Woo Hoo  this is over!....and then the next minute the reality can seep in that for two months she will have to wait to know for sure that the cancer is gone!  So for now we hold Unswervingly to our faith... Faith is being sure of what we Hope for and certain of what we do not see (Heb 11:1). 

Thank you from all of us for your prayers and for continuing to pray that satan cannot use the what if's to creep in and rob her of her Joy while we wait to hear that she is Cancer Free!

Well done to my good and faithful sister! 
With JOY, AMY (for us all)