Today as I'm already feeling like my metabolism has screeched to a snails pace, my son raises the tummy of my t-shirt and says "Do you still have X scars on your tummy"? Before I could answer he says, "No, they are gone.....but OH MY GOSH, YOU DON'T HAVE A BELLY BUTTON ANYMORE!!!"
That's what I get for wearing really high waist yoga pants to make myself feel more 'in control'.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
He Who Began a Good Work in Me
Two months ago, June 1st, my husband and I boarded a plane with very heavy hearts. We had just finished meeting with a plastic surgeon at MD Anderson Cancer Institute. This marked the last appointment necessary prior to the planned Total Pelvic Exoneration scheduled for the following Tuesday. The week had been exhausting for both of us as we met with two Gyn-Onc surgeons, a Rad-Onc, a Plastic Surgeon, a Psychologist, several nurses and the Research Program Director. We has asked all our questions, gotten answers and accepted that this surgery was necessary for my highest cure rate....50/50 post surgery according to the doctors and my online research.
God had provided us a week-end blessing through the generosity of a family friend. Billy and I were on our way to enjoy my nephew's high school graduation in Pampa, TX. While there we would also get to see a lot of family, but most importantly, our children who were 9 and 6 years old at the time. What a gift to hug them and kiss their sweet faces one more time before, what was believed to be, a very long and slow recovery time.
The day we were to fly back to Houston, our son began to ask many questions and we decided to tell them what was going to happen so that they would not be surprised the next time they got to see us. There were lots of tears for all of us as their little hearts absorbed the news and accepted God's plan for our family. There are certain moments I'll never forget, and the strength through my kid's tears is one of them. At one point Isaiah looked into my face and confidently reminded me that God lets all things happen for a reason so he knew our family would be okay. Another time my daughter gave me a pep talk through her sobs, firmly holding my face in her hands. She told me over and over that I was strong enough and my body was strong enough to get through this surgery; that she believed I could do it and just knew that I would be okay. I cannot deny these moments cut straight to my core and left me wishing I could spare our kids of this never-ending nightmare called cancer. In the end, after my miracle, I thank God that we shared those moments. Because of the true fear and sadness the kids felt before, they now know more personally who our God is afterwards. A God that allows trials in our lives, but holds us up with His strength as we walk through the fire. A God that performs real life miracles today, not just when Jesus walked on earth. Mostly, they know, that our God is faithful, dependable, merciful.
"He who BEGAN a good work in you WILL complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." Phil 1:6
I didn't know I would be given a miracle when I checked in for surgery at 5:00 am June 5th. I had accepted that this was my call to suffer with Jesus and that He would use me for His glory somehow. I often give myself a pep talk out loud when I feel myself faltering. This morning I walked to the hospital restroom, not even realizing the significance of using my own bowels, the way they were designed to be used, one last time. I looked in the mirror wondering what to pray, what to feel, what to say as I hugged so many goodbye before the nurse wheeled me away. Scripture didn't come to mind. Neither a beautiful prayer nor the words of an old hymn popped into my head. Nothing but resolution, surrender, sadness. So with a deep breath, I put out my right hand with my palm facing backwards and closed it tightly as if I were grabbing Jesus' hand. Aloud I uttered, "Let's go Jesus" and walked out to grab Billy's hand as well.
Many hours later I awoke in a recovery room with a sweet nurse who explained that I had not had the surgery planned. This should have been such bad news, meaning there was cancer outside the pelvic area and I could not be cured. The nurse knew that I needed to understand more and explained that they couldn't find enough cancer to make the Total Pelvic Exeneration necessary at this time. I felt so confused, almost frustrated. I suddenly saw my doctor and husband practically skipping down the hall with matching smiles from ear to ear. They stood at the side of my bed and confirmed what the nurse had said. The doctor told me I could go home shortly and I felt like I couldn't think straight. I had completely accepted and surrendered to the fact that I would awake with a different body and possibly a year until full recovery. We had an apartment rented in Houston and had prepared to be away from home at least a month. But, there was no need to stay. God performed a miracle! Instead of a huge incision I just had black marker indicating where they had planned to make incisions and do plastic surgery. I had two X cuts where the ostomy bags were to go, but no bags! The doctor had made no incision, but instead did a biopsy vaginally and actually waited for the results before moving forward....even though he disagreed that the biopsy was necessary at all! They ended up doing a vaginectomy surgery which should just take 6 weeks for full recovery. It was more than my mind could absorb then, and I believe it has taken me two months to try to absorb it post surgery as well. I've felt like I'm living on borrowed time. I got to see my nephew at the hospital not even 1 day old. I enjoyed planning and hosting my son's 10th birthday and 4th of July Cook-out. Through the generosity of another friend the kids and I had an expense free beach vacation. I enjoyed another nephew turning 9 years olf, and had time boating at the lake with family! I even rode on a tube with my sister!
God did allow my cancer diagnosis in November 2010 and all the ups and downs since then, but one thing is true...God has also been faithful to complete this journey with a true miracle. I started this journey needing to sing to Jesus or read about Him. I ended the journey with Him so close I could just reach out and take His hand and knew He was going to be in that operating room with me one way or the other. I have been given the gift of more precious life on earth, but the ultimate gift is eternal life!
"Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." John 16:33
"For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
God had provided us a week-end blessing through the generosity of a family friend. Billy and I were on our way to enjoy my nephew's high school graduation in Pampa, TX. While there we would also get to see a lot of family, but most importantly, our children who were 9 and 6 years old at the time. What a gift to hug them and kiss their sweet faces one more time before, what was believed to be, a very long and slow recovery time.
The day we were to fly back to Houston, our son began to ask many questions and we decided to tell them what was going to happen so that they would not be surprised the next time they got to see us. There were lots of tears for all of us as their little hearts absorbed the news and accepted God's plan for our family. There are certain moments I'll never forget, and the strength through my kid's tears is one of them. At one point Isaiah looked into my face and confidently reminded me that God lets all things happen for a reason so he knew our family would be okay. Another time my daughter gave me a pep talk through her sobs, firmly holding my face in her hands. She told me over and over that I was strong enough and my body was strong enough to get through this surgery; that she believed I could do it and just knew that I would be okay. I cannot deny these moments cut straight to my core and left me wishing I could spare our kids of this never-ending nightmare called cancer. In the end, after my miracle, I thank God that we shared those moments. Because of the true fear and sadness the kids felt before, they now know more personally who our God is afterwards. A God that allows trials in our lives, but holds us up with His strength as we walk through the fire. A God that performs real life miracles today, not just when Jesus walked on earth. Mostly, they know, that our God is faithful, dependable, merciful.
"He who BEGAN a good work in you WILL complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." Phil 1:6
I didn't know I would be given a miracle when I checked in for surgery at 5:00 am June 5th. I had accepted that this was my call to suffer with Jesus and that He would use me for His glory somehow. I often give myself a pep talk out loud when I feel myself faltering. This morning I walked to the hospital restroom, not even realizing the significance of using my own bowels, the way they were designed to be used, one last time. I looked in the mirror wondering what to pray, what to feel, what to say as I hugged so many goodbye before the nurse wheeled me away. Scripture didn't come to mind. Neither a beautiful prayer nor the words of an old hymn popped into my head. Nothing but resolution, surrender, sadness. So with a deep breath, I put out my right hand with my palm facing backwards and closed it tightly as if I were grabbing Jesus' hand. Aloud I uttered, "Let's go Jesus" and walked out to grab Billy's hand as well.
Many hours later I awoke in a recovery room with a sweet nurse who explained that I had not had the surgery planned. This should have been such bad news, meaning there was cancer outside the pelvic area and I could not be cured. The nurse knew that I needed to understand more and explained that they couldn't find enough cancer to make the Total Pelvic Exeneration necessary at this time. I felt so confused, almost frustrated. I suddenly saw my doctor and husband practically skipping down the hall with matching smiles from ear to ear. They stood at the side of my bed and confirmed what the nurse had said. The doctor told me I could go home shortly and I felt like I couldn't think straight. I had completely accepted and surrendered to the fact that I would awake with a different body and possibly a year until full recovery. We had an apartment rented in Houston and had prepared to be away from home at least a month. But, there was no need to stay. God performed a miracle! Instead of a huge incision I just had black marker indicating where they had planned to make incisions and do plastic surgery. I had two X cuts where the ostomy bags were to go, but no bags! The doctor had made no incision, but instead did a biopsy vaginally and actually waited for the results before moving forward....even though he disagreed that the biopsy was necessary at all! They ended up doing a vaginectomy surgery which should just take 6 weeks for full recovery. It was more than my mind could absorb then, and I believe it has taken me two months to try to absorb it post surgery as well. I've felt like I'm living on borrowed time. I got to see my nephew at the hospital not even 1 day old. I enjoyed planning and hosting my son's 10th birthday and 4th of July Cook-out. Through the generosity of another friend the kids and I had an expense free beach vacation. I enjoyed another nephew turning 9 years olf, and had time boating at the lake with family! I even rode on a tube with my sister!
God did allow my cancer diagnosis in November 2010 and all the ups and downs since then, but one thing is true...God has also been faithful to complete this journey with a true miracle. I started this journey needing to sing to Jesus or read about Him. I ended the journey with Him so close I could just reach out and take His hand and knew He was going to be in that operating room with me one way or the other. I have been given the gift of more precious life on earth, but the ultimate gift is eternal life!
"Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." John 16:33
"For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
Friday, June 15, 2012
Shouting for Joy!
Official results are in and we are shouting for joy....literally! Can you hear us????
When doing the surgical procedure, called an Upper Vaginectomy they removed an area 2 1/2 cm x 6 mm. Of this, pathology confirmed there was only 2 mm of Cancer! The rest of the specimen was believed to be Adenosis (normal healthy tissue) and Fibrosis (A-typical cells that they believed was like hard scar tissue). They said they went as far to the right as possible without taking any of the rectal wall, and as far up as possible without taking any cervix. The tumor had been biopsied and confirmed twice by a lab that it was malignant tumor/Cancer so this is amazing news!
As if this were not enough, the tumor board met yesterday and determined that they could not identify any reason to proceed with further surgical removal OR radiation at this time. I'm just going to glow little radiation seeds at the airport scanner now for fun!!!
I am in remission and back on surveillance!!!
The Doctor said that after the team leaves the surgery room following a Total Pelvic Exeneration they always feel horrible one way or another, but this time as they walked out they were smiling and all agreed there MUST have been an ANGEL in that room!
We've had our prayers answered and we know that Jesus was in that room. I literally put out my hand and closed it around His in the bathroom and said, "Let's go Jesus. I need you!" I'm so glad we have such a personal God, because I'm certain he was carrying me down that hall at times.
The verse I claimed when I announced my cancer color as purple was Psalms 20: 1-5. I'll be carrying this verse on a VICTORY BANNER and SHOUTING FOR JOY at the Relay for Life tonight at 7:00 PM. All of you locals can come and cheer on my Cancer Posse of SURVIVORS and I in the Promenade Mall's survivor walk if you are free! I'm going to finish even if I crawl across the line!!
"In times of trouble, may the Lord answer your cry.
May the name of the God of Jacob keep you safe from all harm.
May he send you help from his sanctuary and strengthen you from Jerusalem.
May he remember all your gifts and look favorably on your burnt offerings.
May he grant your heart's desires
and make all your plans succeed.
May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory
and raise a victory banner in the name of our God.
May the Lord answer all your prayers."
Thank you God for taking my hand and choosing to spare me from this difficult surgery and the long recovery afterwards. As all sinners, I am no more deserving of this gift than anyone else. I'm humbled and grateful for this borrowed time. Thank you for everyone's prayers! Now, go shout for joy too!
When doing the surgical procedure, called an Upper Vaginectomy they removed an area 2 1/2 cm x 6 mm. Of this, pathology confirmed there was only 2 mm of Cancer! The rest of the specimen was believed to be Adenosis (normal healthy tissue) and Fibrosis (A-typical cells that they believed was like hard scar tissue). They said they went as far to the right as possible without taking any of the rectal wall, and as far up as possible without taking any cervix. The tumor had been biopsied and confirmed twice by a lab that it was malignant tumor/Cancer so this is amazing news!
As if this were not enough, the tumor board met yesterday and determined that they could not identify any reason to proceed with further surgical removal OR radiation at this time. I'm just going to glow little radiation seeds at the airport scanner now for fun!!!
I am in remission and back on surveillance!!!
The Doctor said that after the team leaves the surgery room following a Total Pelvic Exeneration they always feel horrible one way or another, but this time as they walked out they were smiling and all agreed there MUST have been an ANGEL in that room!
We've had our prayers answered and we know that Jesus was in that room. I literally put out my hand and closed it around His in the bathroom and said, "Let's go Jesus. I need you!" I'm so glad we have such a personal God, because I'm certain he was carrying me down that hall at times.
The verse I claimed when I announced my cancer color as purple was Psalms 20: 1-5. I'll be carrying this verse on a VICTORY BANNER and SHOUTING FOR JOY at the Relay for Life tonight at 7:00 PM. All of you locals can come and cheer on my Cancer Posse of SURVIVORS and I in the Promenade Mall's survivor walk if you are free! I'm going to finish even if I crawl across the line!!
"In times of trouble, may the Lord answer your cry.
May the name of the God of Jacob keep you safe from all harm.
May he send you help from his sanctuary and strengthen you from Jerusalem.
May he remember all your gifts and look favorably on your burnt offerings.
May he grant your heart's desires
and make all your plans succeed.
May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory
and raise a victory banner in the name of our God.
May the Lord answer all your prayers."
Thank you God for taking my hand and choosing to spare me from this difficult surgery and the long recovery afterwards. As all sinners, I am no more deserving of this gift than anyone else. I'm humbled and grateful for this borrowed time. Thank you for everyone's prayers! Now, go shout for joy too!
Friday, June 8, 2012
Praise the Lord! For he has heard my cry for mercy. 7 The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. Psalms 28:6-7 (NLT)
After the long drive from Houston with Kristi sleeping in the back seat, we visited the hospital to meet our new addition to the family: Caden Alexander Preston! I had to snap this picture on my phone as I saw my Mom holding our new life and my Dad connecting this new life to our restored life! Kristi had grieved missing this occasion with Katy, and here she is listening with joy to John and Katy tell the story of Caden's birth!
Katy was given flowers in blue and purple: Blue for having a boy and Purple .....Kristi's color for fighting cancer!
Two happy and relieved Children! Aunt Amy, who had been keeping Isaiah and Alyssa, told Isaiah she was running by his house to pick up his bike. Instead of getting his bike, he found his parents home!!! The walked in looking very confused and then hugged and held onto Billy and Kristi and smiled from ear to ear. Thank you God for giving Kristi extended life to raise these sweet children and love her husband!
Kristi has been in pain, but is growing stronger and will take back this blog very soon! After all, this blog is really the start of a great book she needs to write!! : )
Love and Thanks to all of you for walking with us.....Danina for the Family
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
And I stand, I stand in awe of you I stand, I stand in awe of you Holy God to whom all praise is due I stand in awe of you.
God asked us to "Surrender All" to HIM as we said goodbye this morning. Mom talked about how it felt like Abraham offering Isaac because the surgery felt like sacrificing your child. Kristi's stomach is marked completely with all the dye and lines of where all the incisions would appear and there were small x's cut with a scalpel marking where the bladder and colostomy bags would be attached. She had a central line in her neck, a tube down her throat and 8 different i.v. type lines in her. Kristi recollects counting nearly 30 people in the surgical room with two 8 foot long tables completely covered with tools required to complete this surgery (full pelvic exenteration) And......"God Provided a Ram" prior to the first incision! I have thought about how just as with Abraham and Isaac, God saw Abraham's faith and could have intervened with the ram when he first set out on his journey, or on the walk up the mountain, or prior to putting Isaac on the alter, but He didn't. He chose to wait until there was "FULL Surrender". It was like that yesterday for us. God could have intervened in many ways earlier, but He chose to allow each of us at different levels and in different ways to "fully surrender to God's will and fully trust Him to provide what we needed as we needed it." God's Glory could not have been seen apart from the painful process of surrender. How often do we not receive what God has for us (the Ram) because we hold onto some small part of our life, our plans, our control, our Issac? Full surrender opens our heart and life up to what God wants to do!! (Genesis 22:1-19) Below is the process of surrender!
5:15 a.m.....The dreaded long walk down the hall to surgery and hugs of love and surrender. Chuck Swindoll once said, "I have learned the greater the struggle to surrender the greater the surprise". 
Before going to pre-op room!
The Joy of the Lord is our Strength
Isaiah and Alyssa start the day at Aunt Amy's in their
purple blanket and purple jammies....praying for their Mom!
When the Dr. came to tell Kristi the news in recovery, her nurse had been so excited that she had already told her that there would be no surgery. Kristi was confused! Her nurse wouldn't even take lunch or leave Kristi's side until she went home because she wanted to celebrate with everyone that came by. Numerous people that were on the case stopped by to congratulate her and many who had only heard about Kristi stopped by and read her case file to "find the one" who had been rescued from this radical surgery with only 50% recovery rate. When the Dr. appeared with Billy they were both smiling from ear to ear, and that is when Kristi knew that what the nurse had said must be true!!!! She said to her Dr. "Did I get my Miracle"? He smiled and replied that his wife says that "miracles are a change in perspective". He worked hard to explain how this could have happened and took full responsibility for the confusion, but we knew the only explanation is that God chose "for His name's sake" to heal Kristi. There was no scientific explanation. May God use this in the lives of these Dr.'s and staff. Our family, along with many of you, have prayed that above all God would be glorified in this journey. We continue to ask this! This is God's story and we get the joy and responsibility of joining him in this story!
When we left this morning at 5a.m. for MD Anderson we were anticipating surgery at 7:30 and to see Kristi in ICU following surgery around 10 hours later. Instead, here is Kristi returning home to the apartment less than 12 hours later! We were anticipating her being in the hospital for 2 weeks, and now she is home!!! She could barely walk and was in a lot of pain, but she was walking!!
Here is the kid's celebration picture!!
Praising God!!! Mom, Me and Phil and Leona (Billy's Parents)
God used this day to let us pray together, wait together, read scripture together, and talk about
Who God is together! "God uses all things together for good for those that love him and have been called according to His purposes" Romans 8:28
I laid with Kristi and heard all her thoughts until she finally fell asleep under her purple blanket! This was a gift to me, and to you as I write them!
Phil and Leona came to see Kristi tonight before leaving for home tomorrow!
It will not be long before you get to hear from Kristi. Thank you for standing with us today. We feel so loved by so many from all over the country, and because of this......we all experience God in new ways. We all get to "Stand in Awe and Worship Our God"!
After 2 1/2 hours of sleep last night.....I bet we all sleep really good tonight!
Love and Thanks to all...........Danina for us all!
It will not be long before you get to hear from Kristi. Thank you for standing with us today. We feel so loved by so many from all over the country, and because of this......we all experience God in new ways. We all get to "Stand in Awe and Worship Our God"!
After 2 1/2 hours of sleep last night.....I bet we all sleep really good tonight!
Love and Thanks to all...........Danina for us all!
The Mountain has been Removed - Mark 11:22-25
Worley preached Sunday on Mark 11:22-25 with my family all present due to Taylor's graduation. He has been preaching through the book of Mark for over a year and in God's sovereignty he was on Mark 11: 22-25 on the exact week my family needed it. God used Worley's message to prepare us for the week ahead! We are experiencing the miracle of our family's mountain being removed. Worley encouraged us in his message to Remember God Faithfulness in the Past, Trust God, Refuse to Doubt God, Keep Asking God, and Forgive Others. Kristi said the night before the surgery, she remembered Worley saying to keep asking God. This brought to her mind that while she had felt she had to surrender to the idea of surgery and this huge lifestyle change in order to have life, that she needed to ask for healing again! She stopped and prayed that God would heal her or that He would make her desire line up with His desire. The 6 of us stood in a circle at MD Anderson that morning and prayed once again ourselves for healing and for God's peace as we trusted in His plan and will. We are humbled that God chose to answer this prayer as we were surrounded by many walking this same journey of suffering and trusting God as well and were not receiving the miracle that we were.
Dad and Mom have said all morning that we are just waiting for our miracle, and it came!! Kristi's Dr. just called us into a little conference room to tell us that we can take Kristi home TODAY! He said that what looked like cancer and felt like cancer appears to not be cancer (last Thursday 2 Dr.s had examined her and told her they both could see and feel the cancer and both felt that it had grown) He praised Mom for insisting that they do another biopsy. He told us that there was a tiny spot of cancer only at the surface level. They removed this spot and took a large and deeper biopsy surrounding this area and will have the final results in one week. He said that today the head of all of pathology was here and overseeing Kristi's pathology which was no small thing in this morning's process. They had the radiologist place seeds surrounding this area so that if there is need for radiation in the future these seeds will already be implanted. Dr. Levenback said that he had not prepared Kristi to wake up to the fact of no surgery meaning no cancer. He had told her that if they did not do surgery it would be because it had spread and they did't believe surgery would be curative. Because she will be concerned waking up to no surgery, Dad asked that Billy be in there with her when the Dr. tells her! What a way to wake up! We have Praised God in the Storm and now we get to Praise God with a Miracle!! May each of you reading worship our God!! Thank you once again for praying in faith for Kristi's healing and for God's peace! Billy couldn't wait to make the call to Isaiah and Alyssa!!
Dad and Mom have said all morning that we are just waiting for our miracle, and it came!! Kristi's Dr. just called us into a little conference room to tell us that we can take Kristi home TODAY! He said that what looked like cancer and felt like cancer appears to not be cancer (last Thursday 2 Dr.s had examined her and told her they both could see and feel the cancer and both felt that it had grown) He praised Mom for insisting that they do another biopsy. He told us that there was a tiny spot of cancer only at the surface level. They removed this spot and took a large and deeper biopsy surrounding this area and will have the final results in one week. He said that today the head of all of pathology was here and overseeing Kristi's pathology which was no small thing in this morning's process. They had the radiologist place seeds surrounding this area so that if there is need for radiation in the future these seeds will already be implanted. Dr. Levenback said that he had not prepared Kristi to wake up to the fact of no surgery meaning no cancer. He had told her that if they did not do surgery it would be because it had spread and they did't believe surgery would be curative. Because she will be concerned waking up to no surgery, Dad asked that Billy be in there with her when the Dr. tells her! What a way to wake up! We have Praised God in the Storm and now we get to Praise God with a Miracle!! May each of you reading worship our God!! Thank you once again for praying in faith for Kristi's healing and for God's peace! Billy couldn't wait to make the call to Isaiah and Alyssa!!
Please watch the youtube link.........It is long but the first half of this link includes so many of the scriptures that have been prayed over Kristi and by Kristi.
HOPE!!!!!
We just were called back to hear from one of the Dr.'s. Billy and Kristi yesterday had told the Dr.'s that because they had so many praying for healing that they would like to request another biopsy this morning prior to surgery. The Dr.'s said this is not normal protocol, but they would put it in their phones to remind themselves to add this to the procedure. So, after 21/2 hours, one of the Dr.'s called us back to tell us that while the outside read had shown invasive cancer, the inside pathology has found no signs of invasive cancer. They have had the entire team and pathology team dissecting the pathology for 2 hours and discussing the best plan. They don't want to miss anything, but this life deforming and life altering surgery is so extreme he said they were taking their time. At this time, they are doing an upper vaginectomy to take a broader biopsy and will dissect it at several levels to make 100% sure there is no invasive cancer. If atypical cells show on the broader biopsy then the radiologist will plant seeds for internal radiation in that area alone! We should hear the "rest of this miracle" within the next hour!! What a story GOD is writing! Thank you for joining us! We continue to pray that above all God would be glorified and known!
Praise God, from whom all blessings flow; praise him, all creatures here below;
praise him above, ye heavenly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
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