Oh Be Still My Seeking Heart

I had a scan done locally on Wednesday, but I don't know the results yet as my doctor is unavailable until next Wednesday.

I awoke with an awful headache on my scan day. I cannot eat or drink 3 hours prior to my scan so I was thankful that I still had time to eat some breakfast and take some medicine. After medication I babied myself by laying on a cold pack and then on a hot pack. Still not feeling great I took to a hot bath to see if that would help. Unexpectedly, in the quiet, God met me there and took captive my every thought. He took my mind off my pain and instead focused my thoughts on His love for me. On His love for all of His children.

There is a candle pillar in the windowsill of my bathroom that beautifully displays Lamentations 3:22. I read it and thought how simple that verse seems to a long time believer in Christ. Almost taken for granted even, until I began to break down each phrase and each word and feel overwhelmed once again by the gift we have as a child in God's family.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases."
  Lam. 3:22

STEADFAST (faithful, dedicated, dialed in, unflinching, never wavering, no blinks or breaks or distractions, loyal and constant)

LOVE (tenderness, caring, passionate about, to delight in, unselfish toward, devoted to, a soft spot for, always interested, compassionate, good willed)

We are promised this STEADFAST LOVE, but from who?

THE LORD. Not one of, but THE LORD. Not other imperfect humans, but The Lord who has character and perspective that is perfect. Presence that is always with us. Devotion and Love for us that He was willing to die for.

And the best news is that THE LORD'S STEADFAST LOVE...NEVER CEASES!

It doesn't get tired or weary. It doesn't become selfish. It doesn't get overwhelmed or unstable? It is not conditional. It never comes to an end. Not for a moment. Not even once. Under no circumstance. NEVER. EVER.

Oh, be still my seeking heart. How encouraging to know that when my spirit feels unstable, weary or overwhelmed.....THE LORD is LOVING me in a STEADFAST, NEVER-BLINKING, NEVER-ENDING, NEVER OVERWHELMED or WEARY kind of way.

Thank you Lord for your life-giving words. Thank you for never growing tired or uninterested in hearing from me and speaking back to my spirit. Thank you for encouraging my heart to know that you are still in this fight with me, no matter how long it goes on. Thank you for your perfect character and your constant presence. Thank you for your STEADFAST, NEVER CEASING LOVE. ~ Amen.

Re-Inspired

Somehow, this morning, God brought me to re-read this post written by my sister, Danina. How her words caress my heart and re-inspire me this morning. May we all be more focused on making an impact presently because our eyes are focused on life eternal.  

https://www.facebook.com/sisters4christ/posts/1103709896350286:0

My BRAVE girl!

 

Look at how this girl of mine has changed since my big TPE surgery 4 years ago! I have a love/hate connection with this specific 7 year birthday picture. 

I feel so very sad that she had to be such a strong little girl that day with her parents in Houston. She knew she may not see her mommy for a month and that it was going to take a full year for mommy to recover from surgery. Yet, what a BRAVE smile she has. She is still that BRAVE spirit and even encourages me with her positive outlook. 

I love the generous outreach that friends and neighbors and family showered on Alyssa in my absence. This picture shows all of that with TWO birthday cakes, loads of balloons, flowers and a huge candy bouquet! 

I hate that she had to be so BRAVE, but I love how she saw the KINDNESS of people lived out in her life at such a young age. 

Thank you again to those of you who have chauffeured, hosted, encouraged and loved my kids so well these last 6+ years. My momma's heart  will never forget. 

4 years & reminded to be humbly grateful

 

Oh THIS PICTURE! I love all that is says to my heart. In June 2012 I was to have the horrific surgery (TPE), but I was miraculously saved from it for 7 more months of pure bliss. Yet the drama of that day put my little sister into labor with this big boy, my nephew. I think of him as my miracle baby because he came into this world as a perfect miracle as I drove 10 hours home through the night to meet him....miraculously saved from that terrible surgery. Why? Because the invasive cancer was no more! After five hours of surgically looking for cancer in paper thin layers of tissue, my doctor called off the TPE with no explanation as to where my cancer had gone. I KNOW! It was my Savior giving me the gift of time. I was given my very first summer not working outside of the home in 16 years! What adventures the kids and I had that year while we were all home together! 

In this picture, I also see this new sweet baby girl, born almost 3 weeks ago to the same sister. And although My cancer returned and I did have that horrible TPE surgery 4 years ago today, my Savior has given me the gift of time again. I have had FOUR MORE YEARS of adventures and memories and LIVING! I missed my Alyssa's 7th birthday, but today she turns 11, and I am here to celebrate! 

How merciful God is to choose more life for me. Today is a reminder and my little niece and nephew are reminders that I have been given a huge gift. And as long as I have breath I will give all glory to my Savior for the gift of time. I don't deserve it. I cannot earn it. I don't even understand it. It is just a merciful and gracious gift. I love you Jesus and I am humbled and grateful! ✝️👆🏼🙏🏼 

Meet Chris

Friends, I have some exciting (and surprising) news, but it requires a bit of a back story. This one is not about cancer, a job loss, a house fire, or anything of that nature. So, please, just hang in there with me as you read.

While in Colorado this summer, a few of you may remember my Facebook post saying that I lost my phone on top of a mountain in Colorado. It was the most bizarre mishap because I knew I had it one minute and the next it was just gone. We backtracked and it was nowhere to be found. Yet, there was single man driving the same area we were 4-wheeling and we learned that he saw it laying openly in the road.  He picked it up and drove past our group twice, but Instead of asking us if the phone was ours he took it home with him. We were the only people together on the mountain that day.

Billy, the kids and I drove a few hours toward Steamboat Springs and even before we arrived at our hotel the man had contacted friends in Arkansas and family in Colorado working hard to return the phone to its owner. Although he lived on the opposite side of the mountain he found a friend driving to Steamboat Springs the next day and he would hand deliver it to us in perfect condition.  I was without my phone for less than 24 hours after losing it randomly in the vast open wilderness with zero cell service. You’ll understand the significance of this as the story evolves.

My husband, son, daughter and I had been camping with my parents and sister’s family for a few days so everyone needed a shower at the hotel.  I went last and by the time I got to bed everyone was already asleep.  My shower had woke me up so I picked up Billy’s phone and began to download the Facebook app so that I could entertain myself for a bit.  See, Billy has a Facebook account, but I am the only one that ever checks it. I’d been giving him a hard time about this, so after downloading I began to clean up his notifications, as I’ve done several times over the years. There were several Facebook messages unread so it prompted me to download Facebook messenger as well.  When I did this, a message stood out to me.  It was from a familiar name. A woman I knew Billy had dated before we ever met. The first few words showing were what pushed me to read the message.  It said…Oh my gosh, your son….

During this 24 hour period without my phone, we learned that there was a child that had been adopted. His biological mother began looking for him after his 18^th birthday.  When she met him she realized that she had been wrong about his father because he looked and acted so much like Billy.  Billy and I looked at the pictures she sent and we could not deny the resemblance either.  Together we decided to pay for a DNA test to be certain and contacted the young man, now 20, and living in South Texas.  Because Billy is never on Facebook, the message I found was a year old already and we certainly caught this young man off guard. 

The DNA test was 99.99999% a positive match. As you can imagine, this was shocking and overwhelming news for all involved, but we are so very thankful that God chose this perfect time for us to meet our new son. We would like you to meet the newest member of our family, Christopher. 

Chris’ past brings him to us knowing and loving Jesus. Knowing suffering, but also joy. Understanding how to work hard with confidence in his skills. He loves to laugh and be around family. He is handsome and funny. He’s helpful and easy to love. His past has made him who he is today and we are thankful to all of those who positively invested in him. Chris is living with us right now so that we can spend time together and get to know each other better as a family. Isaiah and Alyssa love having a big brother, especially one that can drive! J 

In everything Billy & I have been through together we have learned that our life is not our own. We are called to live the life that God ordains us and we believe that He is with us all in this new adventure as He always has been.   He kept Billy (and I) away from Facebook Messenger for over a year, but then took my phone away for just long enough for us to find the truth.  God doesn’t make mistakes.  Billy grieves the time that he lost with His son and realizes his pain is the result of past sins. Yet, God is the ultimate giver of grace and forgiveness and we have received nothing short of grace thus far.  Please pray for Chris, his adopted family and our family as we all make this transition to understand and appreciate each other and our various roles in loving each other well.  May God’s name be bigger than any of ours.  May we be faithful to live selfless and surrendered to His will for our lives. May God’s character shine brightly as we wrestle to be good stewards of the story He has entrusted us all with. Amen.

With love, 
The Wrights - Family of FIVE (5) !!!



Chris came from South Texas to support Isaiah at many football games this Fall.

Appointment Update

As much as I want to tell you that I got miraculous news yesterday, I cannot. I did get good news that the cancer has not spread with even one new spot showing, yet 3 of the many spots in my lungs did grow minimally. 2-3 mm of growth per spot. Dr B is not feeling that this is urgent, but is looking toward a treatment plan again soon. This means another clinical trial is in my future, but the great news is that there may be another one here locally by the new year! Followed by an even better trial in the radar for next summer. 

Please join us is ASKING God specifically to STOP the growth of current cancer. CONTAIN the cancer within the lungs with NO NEW cancer spots. PROVIDE the right treatment to kill this cancer. And to GIVE me years of life to play with my grandchildren one day and have lots of smile lines on my face! 

Thank you for your continued prayers. I feel them and know I can only face tomorrow because of God's grace and your answered prayers.

6 year cancerversary & scans

 

On November 15, 2010 my doctor told me I had a very rare cancer and that I was in for a long, hard road. I had no idea what that meant at the time, but he wasn't wrong! This month marked my 6th cancerversary and Billy and I both remember how hard this has been at times, yet the humble gratitude I feel to be where I am today, living and not in treatment, is overwhelming! I am so happy to still be in the fight and feeling pretty darn good, even with a non-curable stage 4 cancer diagnosis.

I'm thankful to have just traveled to Texas and Oklahoma to see both sides of our family and many prayer warriors in person.  You will never know how grateful I am for those that have leaned into this battle alongside us for such a long time. When we grow weary, many of you have held up our arms, just as was done for Moses. When Moses' arms were held high the Israelites were winning their battle. They had the advantage over their enemy. The faithful prayers of so many help me to have the advantage over my enemy as well.  Some days that is Satan attacking my mind.  Some days that is the aftermath of prior cancer treatments. Some days it is the current diagnosis itself.

Although doctors have given a diagnosis we don't like my September scans showed no growth or change since July! Amazing news that has left us filled with hope and praise. I will have another scan this Monday and we go into that appointment with great expectation of more good news!

Join us in asking God to show our family grace once again with no growth or new spots. Please hold up our arms so that we may have the advantage against our many enemies this next week. God is at work and we are choosing to trust His best for us again this year! He is the mighty physician! 

Thank you for 6 years of prayer, encouragement and support in every way! We love you. 💜💚💜