Praise the Lord, I do not have cancer in my brain. Why would I think I did? Well it's quite a traumatic story, so I'll have to start from the beginning.
July 3rd I was shopping with my daughter for a couple items before we left town on the afternoon of the 4th for her to compete in the National American Miss State Pageant. We stopped at a stoplight and I stretched back against my seat and was suddenly struck in the back of the head with a huge amount of force. I screamed as I thought we'd been hit from behind and something had come through the car and hit my head. My daughter looked at me like I was crazy until she realized what happened. She took a picture of my headrest and showed me that it had exploded toward my head. I was so confused and it was very painful. We've now learned this is supposed to be a safety mechanism that deploys when you are hit hard enough your body would jolt forward. However, mine just deployed for no reason at all and it has caused a series of painful emotional and physical events.
I pushed through taking 3 IB Profin twice a day for the pageant, but by the time I got home on the 7th it was worsening and I knew it wasn't healing on its own. I told a PA at my cancer treatment appointment that I could barely turn my head and it was causing me to not be able to sleep or function well because of the pain. This is a big deal because I'm pretty used to pain and discomfort nowadays. The PA ordered a CT Scan of my neck to ensure there wasn't a fracture. They did not see a fracture so I planned to schedule an appointment with my MD. Before that could happen I began throwing up randomly and my Oncologist became concerned that I had a concussion from the headrest deploying so called me in for an immediate CT of my brain. He told me right away that it looked like I had a brain hemorrhage and that the neuro surgeon he consulted wanted me to go the ER for better imaging. I could not believe this was happening! When I arrived they were very concerned that I may have an aneurysm causing this bleed. They labeled me as a fall risk and put me in a bed. They told me this was urgent because if I had an aneurysm I would have to be flown out to have a surgery immediately. They prepped me quickly to do a CT with Contrast (which requires steroids and Benedryl as I've had a previous reaction) and then rolled me in my bed down to get the CT Scans. Thank the Lord they came back fairly soon to tell us it was not an aneurysm, but they didn't know what it was so needed an MRI. I had the MRI and finally around midnight the doctor came in and asked if anyone should leave the room. Billy, Isaiah, Alyssa, my sister and brother, Amy and Joshua, all wanted to stay and hear the news together, so he proceeded to tell me that I had metastatic cancer in my brain. That they were going to give me a big dose of steroids to keep me from having seizures, but this is a side effect to be aware of. He also told me this could progress into mental confusion and then into speech problems. He said he was sorry and that I should see my oncologist the next morning first thing. We were traumatized, in shock and disbelief. My brother kept saying they didn't know if this was really cancer or not and Alyssa asked me on the way home if that was just her uncle's coping strategy. I think God was giving him a Word!
The next morning Billy & I walked the familiar stairs up to see my oncologist after a very restless night. When we saw my doctor he said he was thrilled with the news it was not an aneurysm or an active hemorrhage. We agreed, but were a bit confused by his upbeat mood. I told him that the ER doctor had told us it was definitely brain cancer and he immediately said that was not true. He said he looks at brain scans all the time and this is not indicative of brain cancer. No edema, no swelling, nothing aggravated, no symptoms. He told us to go do something with our kids and not worry about seizures. He would be thorough though and take my case to the neuro cancer board for review, which he did, and they have also agreed this is not cancer. It could be fatty tissue, a mole on the brain, a calcification. They aren't sure, but will watch it with my regular scans.
So, back to my car headrest, they referred me to an Orthopedic Doctor and sent my scans to him. After seeing him he said he can see how this caused real pain and damage and it won't heal quickly. He gave me a numbing shot in the top of my shoulder to numb the muscle spasm and prescribed muscle relaxers and PT 2 x per week for a month. Plus exercises at home and ice therapy. I will see him again in a month. I am a week into my PT and wow, it makes me sore, but I am getting a small amount of mobility back in my neck. My Physical Therapist agrees that this is going to take a while to heal as his tests show there is nerve response down my right arm and down my left leg from this injury also. This is because the nerves are inflamed and run through the body. I'm taking prescription pain meds at night to sleep for 4-5 hours without waking up due to pain and taking 3 IB Profin twice a day and using ice and heat to try to get through most days.
Isn't this a crazy story?!? I would have never had a brain scan, a brain cancer scare or any of this additional pain and extra appointments and therapy to deal with if that head rest hadn't deployed. It is unreal!
Plus, in the midst of this I learned that I cannot stay in my clinical trial because my cancer in the top of my right lung has grown over 20% since we began the trial, so I'm kicked out. However, my good doctor has a plan and we are going to radiate that one growing spot, releasing my cancer "essence" back into the body for my immunotherapy to recognize again and go attack. My doctor was able to apply for these meds himself through the pharmaceutical company and they were approved. His opinion is that it is working, but needs more time. 2 of my spots have totally disappeared, many are smaller, some are stable and just one is growing. And symptomatically I was finally feeling really good, until the crazy headrest blew up!
So, please pray that this PT and home therapy works and I don't have to have anything else done to heal my neck and shoulder and nervous system. Pray that the radiation added to the immunotherapy kicks this cancer once and for all. Pray that I can stay positive and patient when in pain every day right now. I still desire to live fully and enjoy everything that is coming this next year with our business, with Billy & I and with our kids' lives. It's hard to live fully when at medical appointments, under stress and in pain. Thanks for reading and praying. God is still writing this crazy life story of mine and I'm doing the best I can to live it out still smiling. XoXo
