It will not touch us!

Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day, do not dread the disease that stalks in the darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. Though a thousand may fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you. 

These verses from Psalms 91:5-7 are some of my favorite to pray and claim for myself and many others over the years. Today I am claiming them for myself as I finished my high dose radiation to my adrenal gland, but also for my brother-in-law, Gaylen Murphy, as he’s been in the UAMS hospital for over two weeks and could have a couple more to go depending on how his body reacts to treatment for the multiple myeloma that is all throughout his bones. He is having a stem cell transplant, which means they have given him chemo to wipe out his white blood cells/immune system, and then they will build it back up and harvest his stem cells over 2-5 days. Be praying that this all can happen as quickly as safely possible so he and his wife, Dolly, can get out of the hospital and get back home for a while.  Gaylen is a trooper! He can only sit-up real straight on the edge of his bed or lay down pretty flat in the bed to stay out of pain, yet he is working hard to do 15 laps with his walker each day, bringing jokes and smiles to everyone he passes. Billy and I were happy we got to go visit he and Dolly in Little Rock last week. I slept most of the drive down and back thanks to Billy driving us. I have been pretty nauseated as the radiation hit some of my stomach causing extra acid and nausea. I am improving so I can eat a bit more and gain some energy and stamina back. I hope to hike a little on a Colorado vacation soon - please God?!? 

Thanks for praying and please remember you can donate to Gaylen & Dolly to help with all their extra expenses with this link! We all appreciate you so much! 

https://gofund.me/ce61266e

May this be the last of it!

Several weeks ago the doctors found active cancer in my adrenal gland (sits right above my kidney). Everything else looked stable, thank goodness, but this needs taken care of. It was decided that radiation is required so today I have my first targeted radiation therapy to kill this remaining cancer. I will only need 5 high dose treatments given every other day through next week. I’m dreading it because I’ve gotten a break but it’s necessary and will hopefully be the last of active cancer. Side effects are nausea, stomach pain and even ulcers, and fatigue. 

The PET scan showed a tiny bit of activity in my lower lung but they feel that could be inflammation, so let’s pray and claim that to be the case. 

Lastly, will you pray that a fistula wound I have had for a few months heals. The fistula is an open track between my abdomen and my upper thigh, most likely following a muscle they flipped from my leg to build flaps in my abdomen 8 years ago.  The gyn oncology specialists reviewed my case in their tumor board meeting and they all agreed it could cause me more harm to open my scar tissue filled abdomen to fix it, than to leave it alone. However, it is a wound that requires dressing changes 2-3 times a day and can be painful with activity or even with sitting in an upright position. Sometimes these fistula wounds heal on their own and sometimes they don’t, but healing could take a decade. Please please pray that God gives me a miracle and heals this fistula to improve quality of life soon! It feels a bit overwhelming to add yet another medical dressing I need to maintain every day forever.  For those of you just joining my story, I already have two permanent ostomy bags to care for. 

Thank you for caring and praying friends! HAPPY JUNE! 

You won’t believe this Thanksgiving News!

How wonderful it is to share this news with you all today. Not only in honor of my parent’s 53rd wedding anniversary, which I know my mom is smiling down upon, but also in honor of this Thanksgiving season. We are living in a year, and a world, where we need hope and encouragement desperately. 

November 15th marked TEN YEARS since I was originally diagnosed with cancer. During that time so many things happened. We’ve lived in 4 different homes, learned about Billy’s oldest son and my step son, Christopher. Chris chose a wonderful bride and now we are excited to be grandparents this next March. Isaiah went from a goofy middle school boy to a respectable young man, played tons of basketball, and even more football, graduated high school and moved into a dorm in college. Alyssa grew from a little toddler to a beautiful teen. She experienced ballet and cheer, basketball, track, choir and pageantry. We’ve all dealt with Covid 19 and quarantine and been exposed and tested. We’ve experienced worry, stress and mental health issues. I went from a successful career as Director of sales calling on Walmart and Sam’s Club, to disability and now self employed. Billy went from going back to college and making the Dean’s list each semester, to a career in the Metal building industry and now self employed. We are chasing a dream and remodeling a barn for a wedding and event center on 6 acres with trees and a pond! We are so excited! 

So much life has been lived in the midst of really really hard stuff. Chemo 3 times, radiation on 5 different places, a clinical trial weekly for almost two years, so many surgeries and physical therapy and rehabilitation. Side effects from all these treatments including Auto Immune Hepatitis and Pancreatitis. Even more difficult was missed valentine’s Days, missed sporting events, missed birthdays and other holidays. Lost Uncles, Aunts, Grandparents, friends and both of our precious moms. I’m so grateful all of this was covered in tons of prayer! We’d have never made it. 

But on the first day of my ELEVENTH year of cancer I had scans and the doctor said I am in REMISSION! He said he cannot explain it, but evidence of active cancer is gone! He said it can only be described as a miracle! 

I am in shock. Billys in shock. Kids are shocked and relieved. I’ve been trying to find my words to share this and I am left with no words, just repeating what the doctor said. 

So today, as a gift to my parents on what would have been their 53rd anniversary, I honor my dad in life and my mom in death, by sharing that Jesus gave me a miracle. A miracle that both of my parents trusted God  for and asked Him for regularly. 

If you don’t know this Jesus, this God, I want to tell you about Him. For he is faithful and comforting, surprising and strong. 

How thankful I am for this good news, and for all that God has carried my family and I through for an entire decade. 

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Happy happy Thanksgiving! 

Endoscopic ultra sound ✅

Today at the OU Medical Center I had an Endoscopic Ultrasound. The main goal was to determine why I’ve been suffering with pancreatitis when all normal causes have been ruled out. 

There was a spot deep in my liver, too deep to biopsy today. We’ve known I have a spot on my liver that comes and goes on the CT Scan. There was some agitation at the entry to my small intestine. No cancer looking issues. And there is a mass in the tail of my pancreas. However, it did not look like a normal cancer mass would look, but they biopsies it and we will hear back in a couple days. The GI Doctor said it can very we’ll be inflammation. 

I am feeling better pain-wise, but need to work on strength, stamina and endurance. I’m still eating small and bland and they said that needs to continue for now. I did eat beef stew while in OKC last night tho and it sure had a lot of flavor, but didn’t cause me any trouble thank goodness. 

Everyone at the OU Medical Center was just as nice and helpful as I remembered them to be; albeit a new department than before. 

Thank you for prayers! Signing off from my couch in a lingering sleepy state. 😂😍 😴 

Stage4 Cancer Treatment...You’ll Love What My Doctor Said

If you’ve been following along you know that I had 3 of my 5 scans about 3 weeks ago and then ended up in the hospital for two weeks with pancreatitis. So, I was just able to finish my last two scans of the neck and brain metastasis. They were both stable with no change PTL! We don’t necessarily expect these to continue shrinking after radiation because the after effects of radiation leaves inactive scar tissue in place of the cancer. The body could carry some of that off eventually, but not always. 

So while fighting this pancreatitis I’ve missed a couple chemo treatments and yet my oncologist says we will continue to pause my treatment until after scans in mid August! Gosh, I’m so excited about that! I have been doing some form of treatment since June 5, 2018!!! I am weary of it all and needed this break, but now need this pancreatitis to settle down so that I can feel good during this pause in treatment. It feels like such a miracle to get a pause in treatment when having a stage 4 cancer that’s in about 5 different places! Please pray that I continue to get better each day so that I can enjoy these last weeks of Summer with my family! This Caronavirus growing so quickly in Arkansas also leaves me wanting my immune system stronger right now. I have not been nervous about it until people at Billy’s work are testing positive and out hospitals are getting full. 

Anyway, praise the Lord for this break from chemo. I’ll take it as long as it lasts! May the Lord show needs favor and keep this cancer stable for years to come! 

 Surely, LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield. Psalm 5:12

THE CT’s Agree!

Latest update on Facebook. 

https://www.facebook.com/464545286925842/posts/2978452958868383/

Day 11 : Solitary Confinement ; otherwise known as in the hospital during a pandemic

If nothing else, I am developing more capacity to accept or tolerate delays, trouble & suffering without getting angry.. I am growing in patience (i .e. self-control)

2 Peter 1:5-8 says, “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.”

Yesterday felt like a wasted day here; a definite delay. The GI doctor said they still “weren’t sure” what was causing all of this.  My throat appears to have a very very mild version of a condition called Achalasia. They aren’t sure what is causing it and don’t feel they’ll do anything if they do know the answer right now because it is so mild. So we most likely won’t explore that further unless it worsens. (Occassional suffering with no fix). Then my stomach is inflamed. They took two biopsies from the stomach that are not back yet. They are looking for an infection with these biopsies. (Hurry up and wait), they aren’t sure if what they pushed through the entry of the small intestine was a partial blockage. They will know for sure when I live normally and eat normally and see how my pain and symptoms persist. (Not a clear answer) and lastly we couldn’t schedule scans until today because of my CT Iodine Contrast allergy, which require premeds. So I sat around here all day to take my prednisone and Benedryl regiment before scans this morning at 8 am. (Delay, I could have taken meds at home, Solitaire for why?) 

I could be grumpy with my nurses. I could get frustrated with the doctor, but these healthcare workers are doing the best they can in the boundaries of their position and the hospital rules. So instead today I joked about how much I love Jello and Vegetable broth 3 times a day and how the only protein on my plate tastes like a liquid version of my childhood flinstone vitamins. The nurses and the aides laugh and I feel good that I can be an easy patient and see them smile or laugh as they go. 

Today I’m awake right now because at 3:00 it was time for more prednisone. And 4:00 it was time for my vitals and any minute they’ll walk in to draw my bloodwork for today. They apologize as they wake me over and over and I told them I’m looking forward to my long nap after my pre-scan Benedryl. They laugh and say they might need some Benedryl too. 

We have choices everyday. Choices to let out our frustration over the delays and inconveniences, directing that at people who are usually doing their best. There’s a few I’d say could step up their game, but for the overall group, they are delightful people working a job so they can go home and take care of their family. I see them and their hard work. I see their patience with patients that are not very happy and feel they can tell everyone about it. I’m choosing to have self-control and be kind. Even though it’s Day 11 up in this place! Whew! Never thought I’d be here this long and still don’t have a good clear answer on what is going on. Pray today we move forward quickly and don’t run into many delays, trouble or suffering. We can’t do anything about this solitary confinement but you can always come visit my window....after the Benedryl wears off!  

“So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Col. 3:12