Not overcome completely.

I feel God is asking me repeatedly to come to the end of myself. When you have no more ideas or plans. No ideas on how to “fix it”, but desperate for help. That’s when we come to the end of ourself. Surrendering the unknown to a God that always knows. 

Yesterday my local oncologist said he thinks this cyst on the back of my leg is metastatic cancer. He didn’t have any helpful ideas for my leg pain, which is caused from years of using high dose prednisone. It’s called avascular necrosis. The dr told me I can get a cane or have hip replacement. Neither options I like, of course. 

I find myself asking God what his plans are allowing yet another painful condition into my life. God is being pretty silent with me right now, so I’m just waiting. 

These verses were on my social feed a week ago and spoke to my soul. 

May I not be overcome by my circumstances, but rest in the fact that You have overcome the world. 🙏🏻

Reality?

This picture makes me think of how social media so often portrays only the good side of our lives. If I only posted this pic with no commentary, you’d think I feel great and am busy living life! In reality, I took a 2 hour rest in order to have enough energy to spend 45 minutes putting myself together for family photos.  The photos were being taken at the end of the driveway, but Chris walked me to the truck so that Billy could drive me down there. We spent 15-20 minutes doing various photos and then in the truck I went to go back to the couch. 

I am so grateful to be with family who cares for me, are patient with me and are being attentive to how I feel or what I need. This has allowed me to get away for Christmas in Colorado and enjoy new scenery and quality time. Good for my spirit! 

One week ago I finished my 5 doses of double radiation, which just means they radiated two places, but individually back to back. I’ve been fighting pain, fatigue, nausea, fever and weakness. This morning I woke in pain and had 102.7 temp. I’m on a 2nd round of antibiotics so this fever is a mystery. Have you ever had fever solely because of intense pain? It comes and goes randomly. 

I’ll have a couple weeks to recover from radiation, plus Monday Jan 2nd I will do my 2nd dose of Avastin in the infusion room. 

Please be praying that Avastin and this radiation stops all new growth and shrinks current tumors. 

Pray for my travels home and my pain. 

Pray my fever goes away and there is no infection. 

Lastly, there is a clinical trial that my tissue has the marker for, but we don’t know if there is room for me. Please pray over this as my local oncologist has referred me and I’ll get an update next week. 🙏🏻

Sorry for the late update. I just haven’t had the focus or energy to even be on electronics. 

Merry Christmas and God bless!🌠

Rock Solid Love & Devotion

I just found this pic on my phone. Billy must have taken it last week when I started treatment with Avastin. It’s been a rocky week as how bad I felt going into treatment and radiation is just piled upon. This man who I’ve gotten to call my husband over 25 years is standing rock solid is his care and concern for me. We are not in denial to the serious situation we face, but together we choose to still seek God for hope. I watch Billy taking care of everything and it’s so evident that God is His strength right now. Nothing is more attractive. He’s humble, sad, encouraging and gentle; pointing us all to God to help us in whatever comes. I feel like God is asking us to come to the end of ourselves. That doesn’t mean don’t hope and pray for healing. For me right now, it means being at peace with God’s story… His will for our lives, yet still living and planning for a future! Why? Because at some point our human mind can’t understand or see how the story works out, but God’s ways are so much higher than ours. We aren’t supposed to be able to comprehend God size plans. 

Thank you Billy for being a steadfast rock in my life right now, once again. We are both better people because of our trials, but we are weary too. 

Pray for Billy as he Carries the load of our life. 

Pray for my body to receive the Avastin and iron and radiation for healing, but tolerate it in a way that is only a God thing next week on Christmas vacation. 

Pray for our kids to feel God’s comfort and strength as they navigate this with us, but live their own full beautiful lives as well. 

Pray away fever, infection, extreme fatigue and pain. 

3 more radiation treatments in Fayetteville next week. 

Thank you for walking with us! 

Help alleviate some medical bills for the Wrights!

After her recent diagnosis, many people have asked me how they could help Kristi and Billy. They have asked for a Gofundme page. So today I made one! She has fought so hard for 12 years to just live. To just be here! Please donate if you can, but if you can't, please share the page for me! That would be wonderful! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! It's hard to feel like you can't do anything to make this better for her! But I realized I can help alleviate the financial stress and be able to give people a way when they ask. This will be a true blessing for her and Billy both. If you prefer to send a check or do something different please reach out to me, my dad, or my siblings and we can help arrange that. Or just share the page! THANK YOU! 

It is on her @teamkristi prayer warriors Facebook page also. 

https://www.gofundme.com/f/donate-to-help-kristi-wrights-medical-bills?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&fbclid=IwAR1P2vR0rn-y2InYHcLtlRSlEOkcn8sCtBamlZdgHbcL0FU0zElFoZ3mqkA&mibextid=Zxz2cZ

12 years and still a new experience today

Billy and I left the house early today to get the first appointment with my Medical Oncologist. I slept only about an hour last night because my body was aching. All the way down my left leg, through my hips and lower back and around to the front on my left, where I can feel the largest tumor. I didn’t feel very good, but thought maybe I had an infection that didn’t clear up. We expected the doctor to have researched other clinical trials, and he did have one I may qualify for in other states. He will talk to them for me to determine more eligibility. 

In the mean time, we got surprised. My sister says she didn’t know we still could be surprised and learn about new places! Yet, my blood work was not good today. Red blood cells and hemoglobin were both way too low, so all other appointments for treatment planning got cancelled and we were sent to Mercy hospital to have a blood transfusion. We went to a new infusion room, we’d yet to have seen! It took about 7 1/2 hours to give me two bags of blood, but I was feeling some better when we left tonight; especially in my legs. 

I will call in the morning to find out next steps. I cannot do any treatment until my blood work is back to a normal (or safe) range, but I was supposed to meet with the radiology oncologist today to see if he could safely radiate this abdominal tumor that’s causing me a lot of pain. We will also wait to hear about the clinical trial eligibility and space more before I can start doing Avastin, and IV Antibody. 

We don’t know why my blood count got too low. It could be an internal bleed, so please pray against that! 

Please pray for extraordinary wisdom, a sense of urgency, relief from pain, restored blood, and no more cancer growth. 

On a bright note, we were allowed visitors today, so Billy and my sister, Amy, hung out with me for a very long day in uncomfy chairs. Grateful for good family, good local medical care, and for a Jesus who gives me courage, peace and wise counsel. 

Talk about a punch in the gut.

I’ve been quiet as I process, and there’s no eloquent way to share this news.  We’ve had another serious family situation this week in addition to my scan results, which were not good. 

Sometimes there are no words to describe how one feels after being hit hard with bad news. Sometimes it’s more like sounds of groaning, clenched teeth  and crumbling to the ground. 

We’re lacking options for treatment as they’ve found 4 fairly fast growing tumors in the left abdominal area. Two of them are 2 inches in diameter and the other two are about 1 inch in diameter. The one just under my left rib cage is hurting me and I can feel it. That’s creepy, right? I’ve never been able to feel one of my tumors like this before. It’s been keeping me awake at night as it must be pushing against some muscle and nerves. 

Our local oncology only has treatments to offer that I’ve already used in the past to shrink tumors and hold the spread back. I’ll need to begin something quickly and we are praying for guidance and wisdom. There are a lot of things to consider as all treatments have some side effects, but mostly they can eliminate opportunity for future clinical trials because of being on the treatment, or having too severe of a side effect response. For example, one local trial I’m disqualified for because a prior immunotherapy treatment in 2019 caused a level 3 hepatitis response. 

This was painful news. Our family feels confused, disappointed and full of questions for God. We’re a bit anxious and scared too.  It is hard to rationalize that we believe God is powerful enough to heal me, but He’s choosing not to…yet. He’s sustained my life all these years, against the odds, but now this? This is a true spiritual battle moment and Satan would love nothing more than to see us curse God and throw away our faith. It’s a choice to still believe when circumstances don’t “feel” good. . Well, God has sustained my life this far. I’ve lived with this metastatic non-curable cancer since it spread the first time in 2012, but I need more treatment options.  We’ll be searching for clinical trials while determining how to keep things under control locally. 

We need your prayers for open doors and God’s help to find them. We need prayers for strength as we have multiple hard things we’re facing as a family, which I may share about someday. We need prayers to stay in the fight and to be encouraged and hopeful when we can’t understand where we’re headed. 

I’m asking God what he wants from me. What is He wanting to accomplish? What can I do differently?  I’m asking Him to lead me and use me for His glory. To align my will with His. 

Prayers have gotten us to 12 years. Let’s keep going. Today, will you thank God for sustaining my life. Will you thank Him for how he’s going to heal me, though we don’t see it yet. Will you thank Him for walking hand in hand with His children when we’re scared and suffering. 

Happy Thanksgiving my friends. May you hug your loved ones a little longer and make sure they know how you value them today. Four years ago we unknowingly spent our last Thanksgiving with Billy’s mom. I’m so grateful we got to host that year and take a lot of pictures! And so many people came to Arkansas to celebrate with us. What a gift! 

I’m grateful for you, your encouragement and your prayers! God bless you and yours today! 

12 YEAR CANCER-VERSARY

TODAY IS MY 12 YEAR CANCER-VERSARY.  11-15-2-22

Today I thought I’d wake-up miraculously cancer free, but I didn’t. 

Today a fellow Northwest Arkansas cancer warrior died after battling 9 1/2 years. His family grieves while they know he is well in Heaven. 

Today I’m thankful to be alive. Thankful God continues to sustain my life here on earth. 

Today my daughter had to go to the Children’s hospital after having a gastro virus since Sunday. She needed 2 bags of iv fluid she was so dehydrated. 

Today I am grateful to be here  to be her mom and go with her.  

Today I thought I’d be in a hospital recovering in OKC. 

Today God has m exactly where I needed to be. 

Today I got to have dinner with family and attend a women’s worship service at the church. 

Today God met me in the song lyrics - 

“If more of you means less of me. Take everything.”  Boy, this is a big heavy thing to offer to the Lord - everything-! 

Today I know all the things that God’s allowed to be taken and broken in me have made me into a better version  of me reflecting Him. 

Today I’m processing and praying as we learn what’s next.  I know God is sovereign. 

Pics of us tonight at the church for the Gather & Give service. 

Amy (sister), me, Rachel (sister-in-law), Danina (sister)

Danina, me. 

Thank you to the woman sitting behind us that felt compelled to take this picture and then share it with us. I love it so much as this is how I’ve survived so much! Lots of love, laughter, tears and support.