Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Dear Lord, Is Asking For Three Miracles Selfish?

Psalm 126:4-6 The Message (MSG)

And now, God, do it again
    bring rains to our drought-stricken lives
So those who planted their crops in despair
    will shout hurrahs at the harvest,
So those who went off with heavy hearts
    will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing.

I cannot believe that Isaiah and Alyssa, along with my niece and nephew, Kacey and Breck, were this tiny when God gave me a true miracle on June 05, 2012.
You can read more about this miracle by clicking here.

Now, on this same day, June 5th, six years later I am begging God to grant me two more miracles!
I would think this selfish, but over my life I have seen how far and deep and wide my God's love is for me.  This understanding has only come through the suffering. 

I begin a new chapter of my cancer journey today and it is intertwined with my past - in both joys and sufferings. I believe ALL things happen for a purpose and are part of God's plan to draw us nearer to Him, to bring Him glory by revealing his character and to populate the kingdom of Heaven.

With this in mind, here are several things that are no coincidence.
  1. My mom is battling for her life against Multiple Myeloma in Colorado.
  2. I got to be there when Mom was diagnosed and fight for her like she fought for me.
  3. I am getting the first hand experience of a caregiver, just as I have the experience of being the patient. Both require a ton of intentional dependence on God. 
  4. Mom's oncologist helped me find the clinical trial I've been needing for years.
  5. My local oncologist was willing to bring this trial into NWA just for me - and hopefully others going forward, now that its open and active here. #beyondthankful
  6. I was barely able to get into this trial before the deadline of a temporary closing to new patients. I got enrolled on the eve of the very last day, only by finding a loop hole.
  7. I will begin my trial today - God willing - on June 5, 2018 - my miracle day.
  8. I was up most of the night not feeling well, with plenty of time to talk to God and hear Him say - go write about this.
  9. God has sustained my life since I was diagnosed with Primary Vaginal Adenocarcinoma November 2010. I am still here for a purpose. 
  10. I need a miracle today and my mom needs a miracle today as well. We need these latest treatments to work, killing metastatic cancer cells for both of us.

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
WILL find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare about the Lord;
He ALONE is my refuge, my place of safety;
He is my God, and I trust Him.
For He will rescue [Patsy & Kristina] from EVERY trap
and protect [Patsy & Kristina] from deadly disease.
Psalms 91:1-3

Please join us in asking for two more miracles today!
God please allow me to get to start my trial today even thought I am not feeling well.
Please allow this trial to kill all cancer cells and leave me with NED (no evidence of disease).
Please protect me from any and all side effects so that I may live fully even while having treatment.
Please heal my momma. Kill off all her cancer. Speak personally to her so that she may feel your presence today as she suffers and perseveres for you Glory. We claim truth that although a thousand fall at [our] side and ten thousand are dying around [us] these evils will not touch us. (Ps 91:7)

Thank you for continuing on this journey with our family as we love and support and give lots of grace to each other, with the expectant hope of the Lord's healing! 

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