Wednesday, July 29, 2015

A treatment free Wednesday at home!

Isn't it funny how God works things out? He knows what we need before we even ask. He's working on my behalf....on your behalf. He cares about the small things and the big things in our lives. I was reminded of this today in two ways. 

First, I tried to cancel my chemo treatment on the phone yesterday and although the nurse said yes and transferred me to scheduling, the scheduler told me I needed to come to my appointment and have the Dr. change it. I rather thought seeing the Dr. on a week without treatment would be a waste of time, but I showed up prepared to ask for a delay in treatment even though it was still on the schedule. It felt silly asking to skip life saving treatments so that I can feel good for a concert tomorrow night, but I did it anyway.  Funny thing is, as soon as I ask permission, my Dr. said he couldn't treat me anyway because my blood counts are too low; especially white blood counts and platlets, plus I'm quite anemic. So, I would've gotten today off whether I ask or not. This means next Wednesday, 8/5, I resume as long as my bloodwork improves. In the mean time, I will go sing some country tunes with my hubby and friends tomorrow night. A little Kenny Chesney entertainment can't hurt, right?!? 

Secondly, because I didn't have chemo today I was able to attend a women's night out with a friend. The subject of our "back porch chat" was prayer, which always brings discussion of God's character. How personal is God to free up my schedule for a reminder that He hears my prayers and your prayers. That He loves me. He loves you. That there are so many people who care, even when in their own season of very hard and tiring struggles. Words of encouragement, powerful prayers, testimonies of faith and sweet new friends all ribboned together by a God who is ever-present and wants to speak to us and carry our burdens. Carry my burden, even. 

Seems like the perfect encouragement and reminder of who God is before I begin this next 9 weeks of chemo. 

The words of a hymn come to mind. 
Praise God from whom all blessings flow, praise Him all creatures here below.....

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Wednesday 7/30 Update

This Wednesday I am going to give my MD Anderson scan/bloodwork results to Dr Beck and have them test my blood and chemistry numbers to see if they've improved. No treatment this Wednesday, but we will have a date to begin again during this appointment. It's been a good break again after skipping last week. It's hard to set a date when I know I'll go back to feeling worse again for a couple months. My prayer is for peace of mind and spirit as we begin again. 

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Lord, I will wait for you to act.

Reading through various scriptures in Psalms tonight and I came across this one.


In these 15 words there are so many barriers that come to my mind.
BE STILL - It is incredibly hard to be still when you are in a life and death battle. A battle that not only impacts you, but families, churches, communities. You want to prepare your best weapons and plan your bravest attack. You must attend all battles personally, plus try to give appropriate and meaningful time to your family and/or friends. You find you are forced to be still, but only to rest your weary body and you have difficulty being still with intent on the Lords Presence. So, you listen to music and fall asleep. Read the bible and your mind wanders to the "what if scenarios" of hard battles ahead or unknown victories.
You speak to the Lord and find there is silence, or perhaps words of truth you don't want to hear. Perhaps those hard to hear words are that you must WAIT PATIENTLY & let the LORD ACT in HIS TIMING. Without your input. This means your armor is not needed because you will attend behind the LORD, protected by the Lord in this battle. He will be taking ACTION for you, leading you, protecting you, pacing your steps through the battleground to match His stride. No matter your busy research, preparation, training you are ill equipped in comparison. You are not the hero of this story, but the scared, impatiently busy character being saved by the hero, Lord God, again. And again. And again.

I look back at the battles we've fought and see victories, so I press harder behind the Lord keeping stride with him for more to come in His Presence.

Psalms 37:7a
~Kristina's learnings & thoughts only and not to be referenced as theoretical or philosophical truth.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Fluids and sweet conversation

Because my kidneys were hurting during chemo yesterday and I had symptoms of a UTI again afterwards, the doctor brought me back in for fluids today and tomorrow to try and flush the kidneys well. After 2 rounds of antibiotics that don't want to go that route again if they don't have to.
While in the lobby I met a sweet lady who has Crone's Disease and had a fistula (hole between rectum and vaginal wall). She's here to treat her Crone's and we had a nice visit and I got to share my story about my miracle in 2012 at MDA. Then I sat next to a man and he had been quietly reading his book but ask me a question and we began to talk and I learned his story of pancreatic cancer that has spread so he's stage 4 and has been given months to live. I was able to share my miracle story with him and talk about my faith. These sweet people need prayer and I'm so thankful for them as they both brightened my day today in their own way. I love when God makes divine appointments for me.

I was really tired yesterday and last night, but today I feel okay that way and no nausea. Alert due to the steroids I guess, but a bit of muscle weakness and some pain in my upper legs is settling in. I was winded coming up the stairs today for treatment and I just ran up them with the kids in Mexico. The poison me to make me better. Isn't that an odd thing. Praying they will find a forever cure for cancer today. So many people hurting because of this disease. And many diseases. I'm reminded of this as I visited with my new friend with Crone's and I think of friends with auto immune disease and MS AND ALS and chronic digestive illness.

Pray for those you know with chronic disease and pain today. as much as I need it, I know they do too.

Have a blessed day friends.

Monday, July 6, 2015

A Special Vacation Gave Me 2 Weeks Off Chemo!

I apologize that I haven't updated in almost two weeks and I've had so many sweet friends and family that have reached out to me to see if I'm okay. 
I am really good....finally.....after getting to skip two weeks between big treatments so that I could go on a great vacation all paid for by the kind people where Billy works, Central States Manufacturing.  The company did a fabulous benefit with a cook-out, basketball and soccer tournaments, a silent auction, a dunk tank and a baked goods sale all to raise funds for us to have an awesome family vacation in Cancun, Mexico.  Here are just a few pics of our time there.  I was still so weak when we left and had to sit down while my family found the room and came back for me, but each day I got stronger and stronger and it was just perfect for all of us.  By the end I ran down the stairs with the kids! On our trip home, Alyssa was holding my hand walking to our connecting flight, and she blurted out, "Our life is just perfect.  Everything is working out."  From the mouth of a babe, even in light of our current situation, the truth of that statement resonated deep. God continues to provide above and beyond what we deserve. He knows what we need before we ask and people heed His nudges daily to encourage us to press on. We are so grateful to everyone who made this trip possible and prayed for us as we were traveling and recovering.  May you be blessed in return.  Much love to you all.