My friends, I have news we’ve been processing, praying over and wrestling with God about since yesterday morning. I know I must share this today and have been working my way through scripture to meet God there and hear from him this morning.
My surgeon called yesterday and said there is a new cancer spot in my left kidney. This is the kidney he operated on in May and it is not safe to operate on that part of my abdomen again. This means my surgery is cancelled for Monday. Best practices in surgery is only to do surgery if it can be a curative option for a patient and because of this new spot being in the left side and the surgery for Monday is in my right side, he cannot say surgery would be curative. Of course, this was shocking and so discouraging to hear. He spoke with Dr Beck locally and he agrees we need to pause and regroup. I hope to see Dr Beck early this next week, but I don’t have an appointment yet. If they scan other areas, and these two spots are all they find active, then they could possibly “freeze” the spot in the kidney killing it and then I could move forward with the surgery. There are risks of creating a hole in my diaphragm or collapsing a lung with the freezing, so more work needs done to know if that is a good option. Honestly, I worry about you all, as you follow this story. Please do not be discouraged in your faith because of this news. As my friend told me, this is a comma, not a period. God has not said no, but not yet. Maybe he’s got something else to accomplish in me, or even you, first. Ask Him what He wants from you. This morning I askedHim what He wants from me. This morning as I read through my bible study lesson and it just so happens to be on spiritual warfare and uses the Israelites crossing the Jordan to the promise land as an example. The author literally says in her commentary that we must cross OUR Jordan to OUR promise land. I am reminded that the Israelites still faced tribes (problems) to be battled and defeated even after crossing. Also reminded to dress myself in the spiritual armor God has empowered me with! God allows the battle, but provides us the wisdom and strength to win where He sees fit. I admit my biggest question for God is if He will choose to heal me here. I would despair, like David said, if I did not have hope that I will see God’s Goodness in the land of the living.
I’m being persistent in my prayers to be authentic in sharing my battle, that God would continue to grow our faith and belief together and that He will give me strength and courage to live out His purpose and plans for me, my family and all of you! May my will align with what God’s doing, because I certainly can’t see it right now! What I do know right now is that God has been faithful in the past. I’ve never walked through any battle without Him holding my hand. I wouldn’t want to face any of this life without God!
Please be in prayer for Billy &I, our kids and family and friends! Pray for the doctors to be willing to dig deeper and color outside of the lines if God wants them to. God is the author of this story. Stay tuned….
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