4 years & reminded to be humbly grateful

 

Oh THIS PICTURE! I love all that is says to my heart. In June 2012 I was to have the horrific surgery (TPE), but I was miraculously saved from it for 7 more months of pure bliss. Yet the drama of that day put my little sister into labor with this big boy, my nephew. I think of him as my miracle baby because he came into this world as a perfect miracle as I drove 10 hours home through the night to meet him....miraculously saved from that terrible surgery. Why? Because the invasive cancer was no more! After five hours of surgically looking for cancer in paper thin layers of tissue, my doctor called off the TPE with no explanation as to where my cancer had gone. I KNOW! It was my Savior giving me the gift of time. I was given my very first summer not working outside of the home in 16 years! What adventures the kids and I had that year while we were all home together! 

In this picture, I also see this new sweet baby girl, born almost 3 weeks ago to the same sister. And although My cancer returned and I did have that horrible TPE surgery 4 years ago today, my Savior has given me the gift of time again. I have had FOUR MORE YEARS of adventures and memories and LIVING! I missed my Alyssa's 7th birthday, but today she turns 11, and I am here to celebrate! 

How merciful God is to choose more life for me. Today is a reminder and my little niece and nephew are reminders that I have been given a huge gift. And as long as I have breath I will give all glory to my Savior for the gift of time. I don't deserve it. I cannot earn it. I don't even understand it. It is just a merciful and gracious gift. I love you Jesus and I am humbled and grateful! ✝️👆🏼🙏🏼 

Meet Chris

Friends, I have some exciting (and surprising) news, but it requires a bit of a back story. This one is not about cancer, a job loss, a house fire, or anything of that nature. So, please, just hang in there with me as you read.

While in Colorado this summer, a few of you may remember my Facebook post saying that I lost my phone on top of a mountain in Colorado. It was the most bizarre mishap because I knew I had it one minute and the next it was just gone. We backtracked and it was nowhere to be found. Yet, there was single man driving the same area we were 4-wheeling and we learned that he saw it laying openly in the road.  He picked it up and drove past our group twice, but Instead of asking us if the phone was ours he took it home with him. We were the only people together on the mountain that day.

Billy, the kids and I drove a few hours toward Steamboat Springs and even before we arrived at our hotel the man had contacted friends in Arkansas and family in Colorado working hard to return the phone to its owner. Although he lived on the opposite side of the mountain he found a friend driving to Steamboat Springs the next day and he would hand deliver it to us in perfect condition.  I was without my phone for less than 24 hours after losing it randomly in the vast open wilderness with zero cell service. You’ll understand the significance of this as the story evolves.

My husband, son, daughter and I had been camping with my parents and sister’s family for a few days so everyone needed a shower at the hotel.  I went last and by the time I got to bed everyone was already asleep.  My shower had woke me up so I picked up Billy’s phone and began to download the Facebook app so that I could entertain myself for a bit.  See, Billy has a Facebook account, but I am the only one that ever checks it. I’d been giving him a hard time about this, so after downloading I began to clean up his notifications, as I’ve done several times over the years. There were several Facebook messages unread so it prompted me to download Facebook messenger as well.  When I did this, a message stood out to me.  It was from a familiar name. A woman I knew Billy had dated before we ever met. The first few words showing were what pushed me to read the message.  It said…Oh my gosh, your son….

During this 24 hour period without my phone, we learned that there was a child that had been adopted. His biological mother began looking for him after his 18^th birthday.  When she met him she realized that she had been wrong about his father because he looked and acted so much like Billy.  Billy and I looked at the pictures she sent and we could not deny the resemblance either.  Together we decided to pay for a DNA test to be certain and contacted the young man, now 20, and living in South Texas.  Because Billy is never on Facebook, the message I found was a year old already and we certainly caught this young man off guard. 

The DNA test was 99.99999% a positive match. As you can imagine, this was shocking and overwhelming news for all involved, but we are so very thankful that God chose this perfect time for us to meet our new son. We would like you to meet the newest member of our family, Christopher. 

Chris’ past brings him to us knowing and loving Jesus. Knowing suffering, but also joy. Understanding how to work hard with confidence in his skills. He loves to laugh and be around family. He is handsome and funny. He’s helpful and easy to love. His past has made him who he is today and we are thankful to all of those who positively invested in him. Chris is living with us right now so that we can spend time together and get to know each other better as a family. Isaiah and Alyssa love having a big brother, especially one that can drive! J 

In everything Billy & I have been through together we have learned that our life is not our own. We are called to live the life that God ordains us and we believe that He is with us all in this new adventure as He always has been.   He kept Billy (and I) away from Facebook Messenger for over a year, but then took my phone away for just long enough for us to find the truth.  God doesn’t make mistakes.  Billy grieves the time that he lost with His son and realizes his pain is the result of past sins. Yet, God is the ultimate giver of grace and forgiveness and we have received nothing short of grace thus far.  Please pray for Chris, his adopted family and our family as we all make this transition to understand and appreciate each other and our various roles in loving each other well.  May God’s name be bigger than any of ours.  May we be faithful to live selfless and surrendered to His will for our lives. May God’s character shine brightly as we wrestle to be good stewards of the story He has entrusted us all with. Amen.

With love, 
The Wrights - Family of FIVE (5) !!!



Chris came from South Texas to support Isaiah at many football games this Fall.

Appointment Update

As much as I want to tell you that I got miraculous news yesterday, I cannot. I did get good news that the cancer has not spread with even one new spot showing, yet 3 of the many spots in my lungs did grow minimally. 2-3 mm of growth per spot. Dr B is not feeling that this is urgent, but is looking toward a treatment plan again soon. This means another clinical trial is in my future, but the great news is that there may be another one here locally by the new year! Followed by an even better trial in the radar for next summer. 

Please join us is ASKING God specifically to STOP the growth of current cancer. CONTAIN the cancer within the lungs with NO NEW cancer spots. PROVIDE the right treatment to kill this cancer. And to GIVE me years of life to play with my grandchildren one day and have lots of smile lines on my face! 

Thank you for your continued prayers. I feel them and know I can only face tomorrow because of God's grace and your answered prayers.

6 year cancerversary & scans

 

On November 15, 2010 my doctor told me I had a very rare cancer and that I was in for a long, hard road. I had no idea what that meant at the time, but he wasn't wrong! This month marked my 6th cancerversary and Billy and I both remember how hard this has been at times, yet the humble gratitude I feel to be where I am today, living and not in treatment, is overwhelming! I am so happy to still be in the fight and feeling pretty darn good, even with a non-curable stage 4 cancer diagnosis.

I'm thankful to have just traveled to Texas and Oklahoma to see both sides of our family and many prayer warriors in person.  You will never know how grateful I am for those that have leaned into this battle alongside us for such a long time. When we grow weary, many of you have held up our arms, just as was done for Moses. When Moses' arms were held high the Israelites were winning their battle. They had the advantage over their enemy. The faithful prayers of so many help me to have the advantage over my enemy as well.  Some days that is Satan attacking my mind.  Some days that is the aftermath of prior cancer treatments. Some days it is the current diagnosis itself.

Although doctors have given a diagnosis we don't like my September scans showed no growth or change since July! Amazing news that has left us filled with hope and praise. I will have another scan this Monday and we go into that appointment with great expectation of more good news!

Join us in asking God to show our family grace once again with no growth or new spots. Please hold up our arms so that we may have the advantage against our many enemies this next week. God is at work and we are choosing to trust His best for us again this year! He is the mighty physician! 

Thank you for 6 years of prayer, encouragement and support in every way! We love you. 💜💚💜

After I Stopped The Clinical Trial

Three weeks ago I stopped using the clinical trial medicine because of a terrible skin toxicity side effect.  The medicine came out of my body in the form of a rash and pimple like sores. After lots of oatmeal baths, meds and Psoriasis shampoo I've survived! Though my outbreak was mostly on my upper torso, face and scalp, it definitely made me feel even more empathetic for Job! Poor Job and all those boils! (Job 2:7)

Last week's appointment showed that all of my blood work was back to normal except for my hemoglobin, which Dr. B says will improve over the next several weeks.  My energy and shortness of breath has improved this week, so things are looking up!

Many have asked if I'm afraid....or angry....or disappointed.  It is so odd that I feel none of these things.  I truly believed that God gave me this Kras clinical trial right here 15 minutes from my house.  I believed he was going to use this trial to heal me. Yet he quickly took the trial away with no other option dangling in front of me. Yet, the peace that I feel about it is unexplainable.

Right now as I'm typing God put these lyrics in my mind from Casting Crowns song, "Praise You in the Storm". These lyrics sum up my feelings better that my own words can today.
_________________

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

#castingcrowns #praiseyouinthestorm #cancersurvivor #S4C #stage4

A Definitive No

What a week its been. Although I've taken no additional trial meds since Saturday morning the effects continue to wreak havoc on my body. It is as if the poison has to exit through my pores. Its been very difficult to have such a sore head and face, but I think it looks worse than it feels at this point. My blood counts continue to decline keeping me pretty low energy, but the muscular/bone deep type of fatigue and nausea has all left. Anyway, I'm on the mend and trying to be patient about the slow progress rate!

Before meeting with my doctor yesterday I was a bit nervous to hear what he would say. I felt at peace about stopping the trial, but realized it would leave me questioning that decision if he felt we should treat the symptoms and push through a bit longer.  I was praying about this when my doctor came into the room.  He didn't look at me very long when he confirmed we needed to stop the trial because of too many harsh side effects.  I was thankful and relieved that we agreed.  He explained that the trial side effects should not be harder on me that doing the maintenance chemo, and this certainly has been worse. I've had to do another round of blood work, an EKG and Echo Ultrasound of the heart to show if any damage was done during my 12 days on the trial.  I'll have a weekly appointment to make sure that everything goes back to normal physically and document the progress.

Something that was overshadowed by the starting of this last trial was the fact that my July 14th scans showed NO NEW GROWTH. We are so grateful for this gift! It also helps make it easier for us to walk away from this trial knowing we have some time to search for the "next thing".

Thank you for your prayers for a clinical trial.  Please keep praying for another trial and pray that God will lead us, preserve life and glorify himself in the process.  May we continue to live faithful in spite of this long lingering disease.

With love. XOXO

I'm not well...

Some of you know I started this clinical trial strong, but have rapidly gone down hill the last 5-6 days. By Saturday night my abdominal pain was almost enough to take me to the ER. Years ago I would have gone, but now I'm hard set against going to the hospital. I've spent enough time there. In the night I developed sores all over my scalp and that has turned into other sores, plus rash. It's not itchy. It's actually just painful. Along with my other long list of symptoms (heavy pressure behind my eyes, GI problems, nausea/vomiting, extreme fatigue, headaches, cough, body aches) the sores and abdominal pain meant we stopped taking the trial meds Sunday. I've been at highlands oncology today getting checked out and getting IV Meds, vitamins and potassium. Hopefully this will help flush my system and get me feeling good enough to start eating and drinking more. I'll see my main doctor on Wednesday to determine next steps. I was supposed to have a biopsy tomorrow and spend the day here getting blood draws Wednesday, but that will all be on hold now. 

On one hand we feel like God orchestrated this trial for me here, but not with these type of side effects. I am at peace that this looks like a door being closed. Billy and I know that only God can author this story of ours. It's a story with so many twists and turns we can never guess the ending!  But we know he is good.  🙏🏼💜