Answered prayer

Thanks for joining us in prayer as we wait once again! God heard our prayers and it is not the super aggressive adrenal cancer. Thank you Jesus! 

It is my same metastatic cancer for the most part. A few changes that may just be showing up because it has lived through radiation. Or the cancer can change as it tries to avoid the treatment that has been working. This is the same as new variants develop of Covid or the flu, etc. 

Next steps are still not clear. One oncologist wants me to get a pet scan a make sure there are no other active cancer spots. Another oncologist wants me to see my Gyn-Onc for their input. Many things are moving and lots of smart people are looking at my case, but surgery is a serious matter for my body to endure. I’m thankful everyone is considering all options and possible outcomes, but that means no clear direction yet. Please keep praying for wisdom and direction that gives healing and quality of life. God is certainly capable of this if He so chooses. 

God bless. ✝️💜

Cancer and the waiting

My urology oncologist called late yesterday and as we’re learning, he explained all the moving parts and thought processes to us so well. Billy and I really appreciate this. He had been talking about my case with a Dr Patel at the OU Cancer Center in Oklahoma City. Dr Patel believes that he can do the surgery and remove the adrenal gland, tumor and only scrape the top of the kidney to remove some radiation scarring attaching the adrenal and kidney together. This is great news for my kidney function and opportunity for open treatments going forward. However, they cannot tell until they go in for surgery if the pancreas tail and the spleen are attached due to radiation scarring as well. They would make the decision to remove these parts while in surgery. 

Before we can take the next step with surgery Dr Patel will receive my full chart to review more throughly. Also, I will have a CT guided biospy to ensure we know exactly what we are dealing with. Is this the original malignant cancer or adrenal cancer or an adrenal adenoma. My doctors expect it to come back as the original malignancy cancer, meaning vaginal adenocarcinoma that moved to the adrenal gland. I’m skeptical because I don’t understand why the radiation has worked everywhere else on my body, but this did not work. It may be a mystery that is never solved. Regardless, the normal treatment for any of these is to surgically resect the area. 

I’m going to do blood work this afternoon to confirm I’m still safe to do the adrenal biopsy. After the biopsy results we will talk to Dr Patel in OKC and schedule next steps. 

Pray for my physical safety and for wisdom and forward thinking for the doctors. Also for my family’s peace in the unknown and waiting.

Fear, Power, Love and a Sound Mind

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. ~ 2Timothy 1:7

Last Thursday Billy & I met with my new Urology Oncologist and I’ve been wrestling with our discussion ever since. A wrestling match that goes on and on is tiring ya’ll! Just as I began to feel my most tired, God whispered this verse in 2nd Timothy to me. 

Answers were still not solid last week. So, tomorrow my doctor will call me at the end of his day to tell me what the recommendation is after discussing with a few other doctors. 

As I wait I am reminded that God didn’t give me, or want me to live with, a spirit of fear. Do you know fear is mentioned in the Bible once for every day of the year? God knew we would be afraid at times, but here we are reminded instead to have a spirit of power, love and a sound mind. 

I am going into tomorrow’s conversations and decisions with this in mind. 

Lastly, remember this Sunday school song? 

Ok God, lead me. I will follow. 

#spiritoffear

#donotfear #donotbeafraid 

#spiritofpower #spiritoflove #spiritofasoundmind #faithoverfear #havecourage #bestrong 

Covid update & Oncology appointments

Today marks 2 weeks since my Covid symptoms began and I am finally functioning, albeit with very low energy a slow pace. Billy was doing pretty well a week ago, so it definitely hit me harder. 

I was supposed to go see the new urology oncologist  and the wound specialist on the 17th but couldn’t with Covid. So we rescheduled for yesterday and they were closed because of the sleet and ice. Now I will go next Thursday on 3/3. 

I’m anxious for these appointments not only because I need some help with my unhealing wound and growing adrenal gland, but because it’s a new oncologist and unknowns. I haven’t had to see a new oncologist since 2015 and at least we thought we knew what we were dealing with. Now, we don’t and I am definitely symptomatic. 

Please be in prayer that this is not life shattering news and that God will provide the very best plan so that I can continue to live here on earth serving him however I can. 

“We have this hope as an anchor for our lives, safe and secure.” Hebrews 6:19

What’s going on now

I’ve never considered myself a worrier. God created me to have an optimistic spirit. I didn’t realize this so much until I had a family of my own and I could see the difference of my “it will all be okay” outlook compared to some others. Sometimes I wondered if something was wrong with me that I wasn’t as worried as others. Fast forward many years and I’ve also learned one of my spiritual gifts is faith. Don’t get me wrong, I wrestle things out with God a lot, but in the end I can settle on solid ground as a believer. I thank God for this gift only He has given me and only He protects it. 

I share these thoughts as I am wrestling now with many things in my professional and personal worlds, both. It seems my timing and God’s timing are not the same; yet I know I heard Him clearly when He said Yes. Have you experienced this? You sought guidance and wisdom from the Lord, felt clear on the answer, step out in faith and then wait…and wait…and wait! 

My dad said the night I was diagnosed with cancer, 11/15/2010, he went outside concerned that he hadn’t heard from us yet and tried to pray  that I didn’t have cancer, but the words fell flat. So he said, okay God, Kristi has cancer, so please help her and heal her. Instantly he felt God say, Kristi will be ok. 

Many years later my sister, Katy, sat on a bench pleading with God to heal me when she felt God say, Kristi will be ok.  

About 15 months ago During a Covid Sunday morning I watched church on tv. The pastor was talking about the Israelites wandering in the dessert, suffering and lost. And then God said to them that they had wandered long enough and He would deliver them to the promised land. (Duet.2:3) After punishing Israel with 4 years of locust eaten harvests, God showed mercy and promised to restore the years the locust had eaten! His people began to experience bumper harvests. (Joel 2:24-26) I felt this wash over me in a way that felt like God said, Kristi I’m going to deliver you and restore these years lost to you. I have claimed that promise ever since. 

Yet here I am laying in bed sick with Covid 19. Billy and I both came down with it last weekend and only out of sheer stubbornness I didn’t go to the hospital with 103.3 fever on ib profin. As my fever wreaked havoc on my body and mind I suffered physically and mentally. All sorts of hard memories and images kept coming to my mind and as soon as I would pray one away, another came. I wrestled with grief and regret, shame and loss, reliving pain both emotionally and physically. I couldn’t shake it and I suffered. I thought of Job and how his friends gave him bad advice while he was weak and suffering and how God rewarded Job for not listening and continuing to wrestle out his suffering with the God he believed in; and praying for his friends. (Job 42) Billy was less sick and bless him, he would drag himself up to take care of me and bring me meds and ice packs, rub my aching hips and shoulders. He would ask what else he could do and I just said, I don’t know, I’m just suffering. I worried him as I begin to recite Psalm 91 aloud to call on the Lord for help with scripture. 

I’m fever free for a couple days and my wits are coming back to me and I’m replaying this in my mind and I’ve been thanking God for giving me a positive “it will be okay” attitude, along with a determined faith. Without it I can’t imagine how I would have gotten through all the things this life has brought me this far, or what is still to come. Some sufferings you know and some I may share at another time if God leads me there. 

I was able to receive the newest Pfizer anti viral medication for high risk patients along with many other medicines to get me through Covid. I was vaccinated and if that helped me at all, I know I would have ended up in the hospital without it. Billy and I are on the mend thank God as we’ve seen so many we know lose their lives to Covid or the impact it had on their prior health issues. 

God created us to live the life He has given us. I wouldn’t choose to live in suffering, and although I am facing more unknowns with my cancer as soon as I’m over Covid, I know this same God who has carried me through all those hard memories I saw in my fever-ridden mind will continue. I am not sure how, but God has said I’ll be ok. We even believe Him to mean here on earth, not only in Heaven. How glorious that will be one day!  My choice is to believe. Do you? 

And Then I Said Amen

“The Devil saw me with my head down and thought he’d won until I said amen!”And many of you said amen! 

Thank you for taking my health, my finances, my marriage, my children, my medical caregivers and my entire family to the Lord in prayer for SOOOO many years! The Bible says to keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking. That is what we’ve done and today once again God has answered our prayers and been gracious to me with good news. 

The new MRI shows the enlarged spot in my brain is NOT new active cancer. It is radiation necrosis. Basically my immune system has responded to the dead cells from prior radiation and things are a bit swollen right now. But it is not active cancer and I’m humbled and thrilled! 

As if that wasn’t enough good news, we were also told that the enlarged tumor in my left lower lung may be an inflammatory reaction to being sick or fighting off an infection. We will rescan in 3 weeks to double check. Scan 9/22 and results 9/29. Please pray and ask God to show us favor with miraculous healing and clarity of scans to show it! May God show himself off through my healing and sustained life…quality of life even! 

What a change of plans as the dr had me scheduled for Avastin (IV maintenance med) starting today. I believe God said you don’t need maintenance, you need cured! ✝️

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. - Matthew 7:7 

Scan results

Scan results were frustrating and discouraging to me. I had such great expectations and yet Dr B said that there is some growth in my brain that he hopes is nflammation around where I had radiation on a tumor last year. There is another type of MRI that I can get to show if this appears to be inflammation or tumor. I have been having more daily headaches. 

There is growth on a tumor in the lower left lung and my oxygen level has stayed lower than normal for the last couple months. 

The tumor they just radiated about 5 weeks ago in my adrenal gland looks unchanged and there are no brand new spots. 

Dr B wants me to start back on Avastin as a maintenance plan right away. This means an IV treatment every 3 weeks. I have taken Avastin before with Taxol chemo, but never alone, so we’ll see how it effects me. 

I feel in dread of this plan and discouraged that we didn’t get better news of continued remission, but fighting to stay positive about the situation and just be thankful for life and the option available to me. 

Please ask God to enter into this situation and show Himself big and mighty and faithful to complete a good work in me and HEAL me of this cancer and the wound slowly starting to show slight signs of healing on my leg. Ask for healing for this fistula all together please. 

Until then, may I use this thorn in my side to remember why I am here and choose to glorify God and share His light to the world with joy that only he can give…even when I’m unhappy with the situation. 

Blessings to you and yours my friends. 

Kristi ✝️👆🏻🙏🏻

Here we are on a weekend getaway that I am so grateful for. Brough much happiness and soothing to my soul.