What is God Doing Now?

My friends, I have news we’ve been processing, praying over and wrestling with God about since yesterday morning. I know I must share this today and have been working my way through scripture to meet God there and hear from him this morning. 

My surgeon called yesterday and said there is a new cancer spot in my left kidney. This is the kidney he operated on in May and it is not safe to operate on that part of my abdomen again. This means my surgery is cancelled for Monday. Best practices in surgery is only to do surgery if it can be a curative option for a patient and because of this new spot being in the left side and the surgery for Monday is in my right side, he cannot say surgery would be curative. Of course, this was shocking and so discouraging to hear. He spoke with Dr Beck locally and he agrees we need to pause and regroup. I hope to see Dr Beck early this next week, but I don’t have an appointment yet. If they scan other areas, and these two spots are all they find active, then they could possibly “freeze” the spot in the kidney killing it and then I could move forward with the surgery. There are risks of creating a hole in my diaphragm or collapsing a lung with the freezing, so more work needs done to know if that is a good option. Honestly, I worry about you all, as you follow this story.  Please do not be discouraged in your faith because of this news. As my friend told me, this is a comma, not a period. God has not said no, but not yet. Maybe he’s got something else to accomplish in me, or even you, first. Ask Him what He wants from you. This morning I askedHim what He wants from me.  This morning as I read through my bible study lesson and it just so happens to be on spiritual warfare and uses the Israelites crossing the Jordan to the promise land as an example. The author literally says in her commentary that we must cross OUR Jordan to OUR promise land. I am reminded that the Israelites still faced tribes (problems) to be battled and defeated even after crossing. Also reminded to dress myself in the spiritual armor God has empowered me with! God allows the battle, but provides us the wisdom and strength to win where He sees fit. I admit my biggest question for God is if He will choose to heal me here.  I would despair, like David said, if I did not have hope that I will see God’s Goodness in the land of the living. 

I’m being persistent in my prayers to be authentic in sharing my battle, that God would continue to grow our faith and belief together and that He will give me strength and courage to live out His purpose and plans for me, my family and all of you! May my will align with what God’s doing, because I certainly can’t see it right now! What I do know right now is that God has been faithful in the past. I’ve never walked through any battle without Him holding my hand. I wouldn’t want to face any of this life without God! 

Please be in prayer for Billy &I, our kids and family and friends! Pray for the doctors to be willing to dig deeper and color outside of the lines if God wants them to. God is the author of this story. Stay tuned….

Enjoy the first of two Podcasts

https://www.redeemedheartsministries.com/podcast-episodes/cancer-with-christ-part-1

This is available through ApplePodcasts, Spotify, and this website for your listening choice. 

Cancer Journey Podcast

Friday, I was interviewed for a series of podcasts by Redeemed Hearts Ministries in Pampa, Texas. Next Monday, as I go into surgery claiming God’s healing from this 12 years of cancer, the first podcast will be shared on RHM’s Facebook page, website and Spotify.  I’ll be sharing about my cancer journey and how God has spoken to me and been faithful to all involved. I hope you’ll go follow their page and plan to listen and pray! 

Here is RHM’s website. 

https://www.redeemedheartsministries.com/

Redeeming November

Feels like a longtime before my surgery will happen now that I’ve had to reschedule due to being sick. I’m reminding myself that God is in control of the details that I can’t control. How in control actually blows our minds! 

I was originally taken to surgery to remove a growth in my episiotomy scar. We weren’t concerned that it was cancer at all because my body grew lots of strange things in my 20’s. Dermgoid tumors, adhesions, endometriosis, cysts. All had been benign. 

November 9th 2010 they removed this new growth. A couple days later I went back to the office for work, moving on with life. 

November 15th 2010 the nurse called and said the doctor wanted to see me in his office. This screamed abnormal. I called Billy and asked him to meet me at the doctor’s office. That afternoon we learned I had a very rare type of cancer called vaginal adenocarcinoma. Only 50 women in the U.S. were diagnosed per year. There was no standard treatment regimen known. 

Fast forward to now - 12 years later! 

November 9th 2022 I will go have a new CT Scan and preop for my rescheduled surgery. 

November 14th 2012 I will have my rescheduled surgery to remove the last known active cancer and spend the night in the hospital. 

November 15th 2022 I will have my first day cancer free! And maybe get to come home! 

Who, but God, puts this schedule together?!? 

Luke 8:43-44 “Now there was a woman who had been suffering from hemorrhages for twelve years; and though she had spent all she had on physicians, no one could cure her. She came up behind Jesus and touched the fringe of his clothes, and immediately her hemorrhage stopped.

8:48 Then He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you.  Go in peace.”

Join me in praying for healing from cancer here on earth by means of this surgery in OKC exactly 12 years later from diagnosis. 

The Anchor of Our Soul

Hope is an anchor of our soul, both sure and steadfast, according to Hebrews 6:19.  If a boat floats on the water not anchored, what happens? It is pushed every which way the waves and wind wants to blow it.  It has nothing to steady it.  Nothing to keep it on course for its destination.  Nothing keeping it safe from attack and destruction. This is just like us.  As the world blows in one hard storm after another, if we are not anchored to something sure and steadfast, we'll be tossed about until we are lost, or worse yet, destroyed.  

What is your soul anchored to?  

Two years ago at the beginning of the covid pandemic of 2020, I was watching church on TV one day and the pastor was talking about how God told the Isrealites they had wandered long enough in the desert. They'd been wandering lost for 38 years.  I was certain that this was a message straight to my heart from God that my time had come to leave the desert and I'd get to see the promised land where God would restore the years the locust had eaten.  This was coming out of a year and a half of cancer spots being found because of immense pain in my body.  These spots had to be radiated for treatment and I'd been pushing through pain, sickness from treatment and doing life with our very busy family of 5.  Chris had just gotten married and we'd moved he and his bride to Arizona.  Alyssa was doing pageants and had won for Arkansas and then competed at the National level in California over Thanksgiving. She was doing school cheer and track.  Isaiah was a high school senior and we were busy enjoying all the things that come along with the lasts of Senior year, plus preparing for college. I was doing it all and loving it all, but so weary deep into my bones.  When I heard that message of leaving the desert, it spoke straight to my heart.   Oh the hope that overflowed my heart! 

Not 2 months later, we entered into one of the hardest seasons of our life as a family.  Satan wanted to destroy us.  He brought a darkness into our home that we'd never even imagined. There was no one we knew who could understand our situation.  No one who could truly help carry the burdens and fear we began to face.  The deep in your soul suffering was something I'd never experienced before. Close family couldn't help us.  The Christian community who knew didn't know how to engage and serve us.  Someday, maybe, God will ask us to share the details of this time, but for now it is enough to know that Satan wanted to see us lose our faith. He wanted us to fall facedown on the ground cursing the God we'd loved and trusted endlessly.  

Some days the darkness swallowed us up whole leaving us paralyzed in our own minds. Questioning what God was allowing and why we felt abandoned and so alone. Other times I could find no words to pray except to repeat, help us God. One summer day I decided to sit on the back porch and listen to "The Blessing" by Kari Jobe.  I could only pray as I listened to the lyrics accounting how God would turn His face toward us, be gracious to us and give us peace. (Numbers 6:24-26).  It goes on to express God's favor to our family for a thousand generations, for our children, and our children's children. ( Deuteronomy 7:9)  It reminded me that God is with me and He is for me. (Deuteronomy 31:8).  These purely sang scriptures, literally written and released in 2020, became my prayer anthem every single morning.  I would listen, meditating on the words and then pray out Satan in the power of Jesus blood.  Slowly, day by day, I felt my anchor becoming steadfast and sure again. 

How long would this continue though, Lord?  We whined and complained just like the Isrealites.  We knew nothing else to do, but to desperately grip the rope that kept us tied to the anchor of our souls.  Without this, we knew we'd drown and our family be destroyed. Our family began to take tiny steps forward in healing, understanding, foregiveness and grace.  There are still so many bruises and scrapes being tended to, but the promise stands true.  Here we are 2 years later, just like the Isrealites in their 40th year.  God says, now is the time! We can almost taste and see the promised land. Not only coming out of this unbelievably dark and painful season as a family, but also in my cancer battle.  Stay tuned for more about this because its going to blow your mind.  Never untie your anchor, friends, for it is our only hope.

Let’s Go God!

Guys, I owe you an update. I’m sorry I’ve been procrastinating! And I’ve been busy livin’! 

My doctors feel that my right adrenal, which they’ve been watching since before my last surgery, is failing me. Plus, it looks enlarged. I am currently supplementing my body’s ability to create cortisol by taking 2 pills a day. This is tricky to dose because everyone’s body is used to different amounts. AND, God made our bodies so smart to self dose as we need more or less during physical activity, stress, illness, etc. Now I must learn how to do this myself. Our adrenal glands also help us absorb and regulate storing potassium and sodium. Mine is not doing well at this so I end up low on either and this can effect my heart, hydration, energy and cravings. Oh how I’ve been craving green olives and dill pickles!  I’m now taking medication for this as well. 

Currently, we are scheduled to have my right adrenal removed in Oklahoma City on 10/19 by the same robotic surgeon that did my May surgery. This should be MUCH easier on him and me. 

After surgery we will have to really figure out medication doses as my body won’t be supplying any adrenal function, so I’ll stay in the hospital a few days to manage the medication process. 

Be praying that a cancelation will happen if I need this surgery sooner. Pray that there is no spread of cancer and all will be removed after this surgery. Pray for medication management so that I can feel good to live out the life God puts before me. 

Pray that we continue to be faithful with the story God is writing through us and that people will see His name in this and not mine/ours. 

God is in me and I am in Him. I am secure in that truth and willing to go where He leads us next! 

Just keep in mind it will be 12 years since diagnosis on November 15th! And I was blessed to turn 46 this week. Let’s go God! 🙌🏻🙏🏻💜 

God is at work!

My Dad took me to see my local oncologist, Dr Beck, yesterday and guess what Doc said?!?! 

He said, you are a miracle after miracle! ✝️💜 I believe it! He said after reading my surgery report he was glad to see me on the other side of the big surgery doing good, because we got it out in the Nick of time! Well, praise God for the feeling of urgency moving in my spirit. 

I told him I had asked the elders to pray over me and that I believe that like the woman who bled for 12 years and reached out to touch Jesus garment hem for healing, I was reaching out in that same faith. Doc smiled and said he feels he is just to be used as a tool of the Lord! Yes, Jesus! May we all just be a tool for the Lord to use  the talents, time and treasure that God has given to us. 

Currently I am feeling so much better. I haven’t taken anti nausea or Tylenol for pain in my abdomen for a couple days. God is hearing all our prayers and He is answering with yes! Please join me in remembering to thank Him for answered prayers today! 

My wound infection isn’t causing me problems at the moment so Doc doesn’t want me to be to do another round of antibiotic, but said if it reseats ugly head again he will call me in a med that is a cousin to penicillin, but I’ve tolerated it before. 

I’ll have routine scans August 2nd with results on the 4th. Praying these are clearly cancer free scans!!! 

P.s. I included this TV playing Bob Ross at my appointment yesterday because I’ve never seen that here before and Mom loved learning to paint from Bob Ross. Made dad & I feel like Mom was winking at us. 💛 🌹