Hi friends, family and even strangers. It's Kristi and I wanted to personally write a few thoughts as I face surgery today. It is 1:10 AM and I have had so many things I wanted to blog about before this surgery. At this point I can't afford fancy words and deep thoughts. I have to be at the hospital in about 4 hours to check-in.
This moment has come to me as such a shock. I completely believe that God gifted me a miracle last June as I awoke and learned that this same exenteration surgery had been aborted. I can't deny that I have been angry, burdened, numb, hopeful, and so much more. Regardless of my emotional roller coaster dealing with this news...we are here. I have to look at the facts and what I know in this very moment.
I know that Satan is attacking. My burdened heart feels his arrows. I speak out loud casting Satan out of my mind and my heart in the name of Jesus Christ. The same is spoken to rid myself of cancer and abnormal cells. I believe there is power in the name of our Lord.
Speaking of Jesus, He held my hand walking down that hall in June...and he will again today. It feels bigger and more scary because I know what waits on the other end of that hall and behind the surgical doors. I remember the tables of tools and the number of people in the surgical room from last June. I feel like this time I am the ram to be sacrificed, whereas last time I felt surrendered to carry the cross of suffering for God's kingdom. I may be rambling, or just throwing out various thoughts, but in the midst of it all I want you to know that I believe God has proven himself faithful to me over and over again; big and small.
Great is thy faithfulness, Great is thy faithfulness.
Morning by morning, new mercies I see.
All I have needed thy hand hath provided.
Great is they faithfulness, Lord unto thee.
Today is my daughter's birthday and I want nothing more than to share this day with her, but God has bigger plans. His plans. I will walk faithfully until he moves this mountain and I will trust Him to meet my daughters needs today as well.
He who began His good work in me, will be faithful to complete it. Philippians 1:6
I will write to you all again on the other side of this day. Until then, I want to say thank you to everyone for your prayers, encouragement, gifts and support. We are humbled by the amount of love and encouragement we feel from such a varying group of people. God has already shown himself faithful this week in many ways. We truly would not be surviving all of this without your help.
See you soon.....