Thursday, September 24, 2015

Almost Overwhelmed

Last night I became almost overwhelmed.  I had treatment yesterday, and although a light treatment ( about 50% of what I normally get) I never recovered fully from the week before.  I was still feeling a headache, achy body, physical fatigue, distracted, gums bleeding and had to potty frequently!
I learn at treatment that my Red Blood Cells, Hemoglobin and Hematocrit are all still low, but White Blood Cells and Platelets are normal thankfully.  However, I also learned that some blisters/sores I've developed and had sent to lab last week came back as Rare Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus, otherwise known as MRSA. You can click the link (name) above to learn more and understand who gets this and how to protect yourselves. This is not helping me feel a lot better as they found no white blood cells in the lab sample and the antibiotic they put me on last week "in case" it came back as Staph is on the list of meds my case is resistant to.  So, last night I had to start over with a new antibiotic after a week of taking one that upset my digestive system more than usual.  Anyway, I'll take this for 10 days and I've already had this problem and been talking to the doctors for about 17 days. 

Anyway, my skin around my ostomy stoma was in such terrible pain last night that I couldn't bend well or walk without it hurting.  For those without an ostomy I know you cannot envision what the situation is with this, but just trust me its not pleasant and that was wearing on me at bed time too.  I also baby my bum - as some of you notice me sitting on the softest chair in the room and carrying my own extra soft cushion to the sports arenas - but my reconstruction in 2013 didn't ever heal right and I've had secondary surgeries and procedures trying to get it to re-heal without pain.  It is worse some days than others and its been painful the last several weeks too so that wears on me as well.
I think at times God spares us emotion so that we can handle the trial we've been given to live daily. I've been experiencing God's Grace and not living in fear or sadness, but last night I had a good cry and really felt the desperation to feel better and engage in life with energy again.  I want to get such good results at my scan in two weeks and have a break from treatment, but at the same time I feel guilty knowing others have been told they can have no more treatment and are wishing there was still an option for them.  I am burdened for those fellow fighters as I'll see them all around at the cancer centers, but I know each situation is in God's hands.  He makes the final decision for what is best in bringing more people closer to him or refining each of us.  I am grateful that I still have options with Stage 4 Metastatic Cancer.  Praise God for that!
So for now, please join us in prayer
  • Praise God that I have almost been here 5 years since diagnosis and still have treatment options because my body is staying pretty strong.
  • That the Rare MRSA Staph doesn't get worse, the painfulness of it goes away, and it doesn't travel anywhere else in me or to my family members.
  • That God will show us favor and give us a great scan report showing NED (No Evidence of Disease) on October 6/7.
  • That I will get a break from chemo and avastin treatment after this appointment in Houston.
  • That my skin around my ostomy stoma will heal quickly.
  • That my reconstruction area from my surgery in January 2013 will stop hurting and miraculously heal without leaving chronic pain eventually.
  • That my headaches will go away
  • That I will not feel survivor's guilt if I get great news at MD Anderson, but that I will be able to rest in the results no matter what and continue to find ways to glorify God in this journey.

    From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalm 61:2


  1. I am forever amazed with your patience-even with this bump in the road-but more importantly your care for others while you too are going through trials and tribulations. You remain an inspiration and bless my life with goodness.

  2. Lots and lots of prayers for each of your requests! Love you lots. I'm holding the lantern and your hand as we walk down this path! You are a warrior for life Kristi and God is being greatly glorified . Xoxo

  3. Oh beautiful kristi. Your faith and optimism never cease to amaze me. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I can't imagine all you've been through and continue to go through. Know that it's ok to have weakness and tears and have bad days. You'll still be our inspiration. If only you could be healed physically through all of our thoughts. Hugs to you and all your friends and family. 💕

  4. Oh gosh, sore bum and ostomy giving you grief on top of it all, and sores/blisters that are now resistant... Prayers that it will be resolved and you can feel no or very little pain any where and you can have a peaceful mind heart and soul... Hugs to you and yours, I'm sorry it it soooo hard. Melanie

  5. Love you Kristi...I will be lifting you up to our Father as He brings you to my mind and heart.

  6. Thank you all so much for continuing to encourage me! You have no idea how much your comments and prayers mean to me.