Gratefulness

The last two days have been so interesting.  I've felt really good physically and mentally.   I have felt more at peace, more joyful, more myself.  For those of you that know me, you know that this time of the year is especially hectic being a sales person in the toy industry.  In a normal year every phone call or project I get on a day like this is about writing orders because we are running out of product, correcting orders, shutting off orders because a product is overstocked, planning next August's items to be carried in store and what we will put on rollback and what we will have on a pallet or in an ad delivered to your door step.  Its hectic and there is a lot of pressure to hit the number we committed to Wall Street.  Well, my days now are full of all of these things, but interwoven throughout the day I get a call reminding me what I need to bring to my doctor appointment tomorrow.  I get a call saying my medical records have been faxed to another doctor.  I get a call setting up another doctor appointment for next week.  I call to make sure the medical records were received and try to schedule an appointment with a new doctor.  I call to set up my kid's dentist appointments.  I make a note that my daughter needs to take snacks to school with her on Friday and that my son is getting out early due to a championship football game for our town.  My husband comes in and asks what he can help me with and I dump on him everything in my head and I know its too much.  I begin to think about what we should have for dinner and if I need to lay any meat out to thaw.  I get wonderful texts and calls and e-mails and blog posts encouraging me and supporting me through it all.  Its a typical hectic day in my life as a working mom and wife, but not so typical at all. 

It feels good to have some "normal", but feels wrong at the same time.  I realize this may seem confusing to some, but to those that have gone through real trials I think it will make sense.  Its like I am sitting there completely enjoying "normal" and then for just a few seconds something makes my mind remember that things are not really normal.  Not for me; not right now.  I know they will be again and my mind can go back to the moment...this single moment that I don't want to miss.  I don't want to take for granted a good cup of tea with my family member, a chat with a friend, a hug from my husband, a ever long story told by my kids.  I am so thankful for these moments and blessed by so many who care and love me.  Today in the middle of chaos I find I am grateful.

Grateful for:

• Our God that never leaves me and cares about my every need.
• My Husband who is fully committed to me and would carry my illness himself if he were able.
• My parents who raised me in a Christian home so that I know where to turn during a time like this.
• Our family who is willing to care for me in any way....researching, buying groceries, bringing dinner, running errands, driving to doctor visits, being "listeners", etc
• Our friends who have shown such compassion and support and been prayer warriors on my behalf.
• My doctors and nurses that have communicated to me with sensitivity and honesty.
• My employer that has been so patient and understanding and my colleagues that have picked up a lot of extra work during an already busy time.
• My nanny who has been so flexible to help with our kids and give me peace of mind that they are in good care.
• Those of you that have supported my husband and our families as they deal with this news as well.

The list goes on and on, but I feel grateful for you in the midst of chaos.  Thank you for loving me well.

"I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done.  I will be filled with joy because of you.  I will sing praises to your name." Psalms 9:1-2